Guildies,
I've chosen to no longer be among the ranks of our officers.
I thought long and hard about the countless raids we've been on together, the ventrilo server, and the selfless manner I've tried to employ while dealing with guildies...and I realized that I'm not quite cut out for the role of Demi Lich.
First of all, I play WoW...which is a significant difference b/w the other Demi Liches and I. (Excluding Wayne...who really should be GM for now to prevent things like Dracosian's hacked account stealing from our Guild Bank...) *****as a matter of fact, assume the aforementioned exclusion is attached to any other reasons*****
Secondly, I am level 80 with a gear score of higher than 1200. (I used www.wow-heroes.com to reference this.)
Also, I've led a raid POST-classic WoW and been largely sucessful.
All this being said, I have no desire to be a high officer anymore...I have clearly become over-qualified in light of the accomplishments of my fellow adventurer's. Kelenya is no longer a Demi Lich..I have removed myself from the guild and had one of the amazing disappearing-reappearing officers invite me back into the guild as a non-officer.
I look forward to seeing everyone in game. :)
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Where Did You Come From? (Apparently the answer is "Peru")
Tip toe in,
Don't say a word,
Then suddenly you're here.
Opened the door,
I never heard,
You creep so close -- so near.
A part of you,
Inside of me,
You grab onto my heart,
I cherish you,
I want you there,
When did this feeling start?
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
As this thing grows,
I'm watching it,
I swear I thought you'd leave.
Deep inside,
Those big brown eyes,
A love I can't believe.
You take on me,
Despite my faults,
And things I cannot change,
Not asking me,
Or forcing me,
It feels so good, but strange.
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
Somewhere beyond heaven,
Someone called to me,
A light so bright,
I shield my eyes,
But still I cannot see.
Warmth outside my body,
Seeping through my soul,
You press your lips to mine,
And I've completely lost control.
"Don't let her in,"
They say to me,
But you're already here,
I tried to shield,
My heart from you,
But feelings are so clear...
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
Don't say a word,
Then suddenly you're here.
Opened the door,
I never heard,
You creep so close -- so near.
A part of you,
Inside of me,
You grab onto my heart,
I cherish you,
I want you there,
When did this feeling start?
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
As this thing grows,
I'm watching it,
I swear I thought you'd leave.
Deep inside,
Those big brown eyes,
A love I can't believe.
You take on me,
Despite my faults,
And things I cannot change,
Not asking me,
Or forcing me,
It feels so good, but strange.
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
Somewhere beyond heaven,
Someone called to me,
A light so bright,
I shield my eyes,
But still I cannot see.
Warmth outside my body,
Seeping through my soul,
You press your lips to mine,
And I've completely lost control.
"Don't let her in,"
They say to me,
But you're already here,
I tried to shield,
My heart from you,
But feelings are so clear...
Patch my broken heart,
Fill my empty soul,
Dread when we're apart,
I've never felt so whole,
Never thinking I'd deserve it,
Never thinking that you'd come,
As now I start to wonder,
Where did you come from?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Cameron's Homework (From 9:45p last night) =o)
Pack the wagon and jump on in,
Hit the trail out West,
He’ll miss the farm that he grew up on,
But he’s hoping for the best.
Dreams of livestock fill his head,
And cultivating land,
He leaves behind the things he loves,
A life built by his hand.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Their looking to a promise land,
No longer are they slaves,
They’ve finally got the chance they want,
Not serving men like knaves.
A chance to own a piece of land,
“Exodusters” they say,
There’s opportunity to live their life,
And make their independent way.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Gold and silver by the lode,
Searching rocks for veins,
The entire country heads out West,
Made easier by trains.
Desert their jobs to come to mine,
And hope for the “Big Strike”
A life of riches beyond belief,
What is not to like?
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
The “Iron Horse” scared the buffalo,
And now their land is taken away,
A way of life they’ve lived for years,
Is dying now today.
The Army comes to subdue the tribes,
After “Custer’s Last Stand”,
Some changed the way they looked at things,
And started farming from the land.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Hit the trail out West,
He’ll miss the farm that he grew up on,
But he’s hoping for the best.
Dreams of livestock fill his head,
And cultivating land,
He leaves behind the things he loves,
A life built by his hand.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Their looking to a promise land,
No longer are they slaves,
They’ve finally got the chance they want,
Not serving men like knaves.
A chance to own a piece of land,
“Exodusters” they say,
There’s opportunity to live their life,
And make their independent way.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Gold and silver by the lode,
Searching rocks for veins,
The entire country heads out West,
Made easier by trains.
Desert their jobs to come to mine,
And hope for the “Big Strike”
A life of riches beyond belief,
What is not to like?
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
The “Iron Horse” scared the buffalo,
And now their land is taken away,
A way of life they’ve lived for years,
Is dying now today.
The Army comes to subdue the tribes,
After “Custer’s Last Stand”,
Some changed the way they looked at things,
And started farming from the land.
(Chorus)
Lush green fields,
Streams of gold,
They’re calling them out West,
Illnesses , life on the trail,
And hardly any rest.
Heading out to find their land,
And build their brand new home,
With fields of grass and streams of gold,
For them to call their own.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Out in the Night
In my sleep,as I dream,
things become what they don't seem,
On a ship sailing away,
My heart's not here to stay,
Don't you know it wanders from my chest?
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you...
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
Not tied down,
to a rail,
I can live so free and well.
Can't believe I've found what I've been lookin' for.
So don't try to corral me,
As I walk this walk of fame,
My soul is roamin' free, babe,
No sorrow and no shame.
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you...
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
When I wake,
I will return,
To the arms that hold me tight,
But, in my dreams my heart will be,
Tearin' up the night...
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you..
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
(Repeat)
things become what they don't seem,
On a ship sailing away,
My heart's not here to stay,
Don't you know it wanders from my chest?
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you...
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
Not tied down,
to a rail,
I can live so free and well.
Can't believe I've found what I've been lookin' for.
So don't try to corral me,
As I walk this walk of fame,
My soul is roamin' free, babe,
No sorrow and no shame.
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you...
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
When I wake,
I will return,
To the arms that hold me tight,
But, in my dreams my heart will be,
Tearin' up the night...
(Chorus)
Out in the night,
I wanna feel it,
Out in the night,
I can pulse with excitement.
Out in the night,
I do not feel you..
I taste the freedom,
dripping on my lips.
(Repeat)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Fall Together
My soul lies trapped in darkness,
A dark you'll never know,
My heart's been in so much pain,
A pain I'll never show,
But she walked right in the door,
Here to expel it all,
And now she's got me wondering,
If this could start to fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
I felt like I was done with it,
When Jamie ripped my heart in two,
Logic didn't tell me,
That the road would lead to you,
Here to take the pain from me,
And let me live again,
Not just to be another girl,
But here to be a friend.
A friend that's bearing gifts,
Willing to share it all,
I'm feeling so in love with you,
I'd like to see this fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
Bleeding on the floor,
Pick it up and help it mend,
Can't believe that I'm so willing,
To do this thing again,
Jumped the little hurdle,
Scaled the giant wall,
Not afraid to let you in,
I want to see this fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
A dark you'll never know,
My heart's been in so much pain,
A pain I'll never show,
But she walked right in the door,
Here to expel it all,
And now she's got me wondering,
If this could start to fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
I felt like I was done with it,
When Jamie ripped my heart in two,
Logic didn't tell me,
That the road would lead to you,
Here to take the pain from me,
And let me live again,
Not just to be another girl,
But here to be a friend.
A friend that's bearing gifts,
Willing to share it all,
I'm feeling so in love with you,
I'd like to see this fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
Bleeding on the floor,
Pick it up and help it mend,
Can't believe that I'm so willing,
To do this thing again,
Jumped the little hurdle,
Scaled the giant wall,
Not afraid to let you in,
I want to see this fall.
Fall together,
Each piece within it's slot,
I know it sounds impossible,
But love tells me it is not.
Heart set all a-flutter,
As I'm looking at her face,
I finally found the person,
That can take me to that place,
Floating on the wind,
Like a molted, floating feather,
Give yourself to me,
Let's watch this fall together...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Fall In Love With Me
Fall In Love With Me
Thoughts of you make me helpless,
The crazy way it feels,
The way I think I need you,
Like no brakes and just four wheels,
Tearing through the city,
Off the pier into the sea,
I wanna make you happy, Babe,
So fall in love with me.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
And I will take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
We'll take it by the hand, Girl,
Through laughter and the tears,
We'll show the world what we can do,
I'll wipe away your fears,
Skipping down the broadway,
We'll sing and dance with glee,
You're gunna be so happy, Babe,
So fall in love with me.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
And I will take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
I don't know……,
What else to do…..
So love me, Girl……
And I'll love you too.
I don't know……,
What else to do…..
So love me, Girl……
And I'll love you too.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
I'll try to take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'd fall in love with you.
(solo)
Fall in love with me,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me……….
Thoughts of you make me helpless,
The crazy way it feels,
The way I think I need you,
Like no brakes and just four wheels,
Tearing through the city,
Off the pier into the sea,
I wanna make you happy, Babe,
So fall in love with me.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
And I will take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
We'll take it by the hand, Girl,
Through laughter and the tears,
We'll show the world what we can do,
I'll wipe away your fears,
Skipping down the broadway,
We'll sing and dance with glee,
You're gunna be so happy, Babe,
So fall in love with me.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
And I will take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
I don't know……,
What else to do…..
So love me, Girl……
And I'll love you too.
I don't know……,
What else to do…..
So love me, Girl……
And I'll love you too.
Completely uncontrollable,
The pleasure and the pain,
So wrap your arms around me,
And kiss my lips again.
Bring me up to heaven, Girl,
I'll try to take you too,
My soul's wrapped all around you, Girl,
I'd fall in love with you.
(solo)
Fall in love with me,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me, Girl,
I'll fall in love with you.
Fall in love with me……….
Friday, September 11, 2009
9 DAYS! WOOT!!!
They're going hard to work,
Setting up the tents,
Do a couple dailys,
Scrounge a couple cents,
Dust off my old regailia,
Clean out my empty mug,
9 days 'til Coren Direbrew,
I doubt I'll need a PUG,
Last time he was only 70,
This year he'll be our punk,
It only happens once a year,
When Blizzard promotes being drunk!
Setting up the tents,
Do a couple dailys,
Scrounge a couple cents,
Dust off my old regailia,
Clean out my empty mug,
9 days 'til Coren Direbrew,
I doubt I'll need a PUG,
Last time he was only 70,
This year he'll be our punk,
It only happens once a year,
When Blizzard promotes being drunk!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Song About Forever
Inspired by an aspiring Song Fu contestant... =o)
************************************************
Song About Forever
Feel your heartbeat through your palm,
As we walk together in stride,
Watch you moving in the wind,
And it's bottled up inside.
I have so many things to tell you,
but I don't wanna be wrong.
Can't open up my heart to you,
so I'm writing you a song.
A song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
Far too pretty when you're talking,
The light dancin' in your eyes,
Try to hide it when I see you,
But I know it's no surprise.
I can feel my heartbeat racin',
As your lips get close to mine,
Your kiss I'll soon be tastin',
I start to cross the line.
The point of no return,
Is just a landmark on the way,
I've lost myself inside you,
There's nothing else to say.
It's a song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
So don't take from me,
What I hold dear,
Come back to me,
And pull me near.
Hold me close don't let your love ever fade.
A song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
************************************************
Song About Forever
Feel your heartbeat through your palm,
As we walk together in stride,
Watch you moving in the wind,
And it's bottled up inside.
I have so many things to tell you,
but I don't wanna be wrong.
Can't open up my heart to you,
so I'm writing you a song.
A song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
Far too pretty when you're talking,
The light dancin' in your eyes,
Try to hide it when I see you,
But I know it's no surprise.
I can feel my heartbeat racin',
As your lips get close to mine,
Your kiss I'll soon be tastin',
I start to cross the line.
The point of no return,
Is just a landmark on the way,
I've lost myself inside you,
There's nothing else to say.
It's a song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
So don't take from me,
What I hold dear,
Come back to me,
And pull me near.
Hold me close don't let your love ever fade.
A song about yesterday,
and the places that we've been.
A song about right now,
The confusion that we're in.
A song about tomorrow,
and the places we will go.
A song about Forever,
which is how I'll love you so.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Short Poem: Strangers
This is a little poem I wrote about a year go. I think it was addressed to my legs..
********************************************************************
I wake up everyday,
And wonder how you’ll be,
If you’ll listen to what I say,
Or keep ignoring me.
Will you support me through this thing?
Can I rely on you?
Or will you keep ignoring,
What I’m asking you to do?
We used to be so close,
I used to feel so free,
But now it is quite clear,
That you’re strangers to me.
********************************************************************
I wake up everyday,
And wonder how you’ll be,
If you’ll listen to what I say,
Or keep ignoring me.
Will you support me through this thing?
Can I rely on you?
Or will you keep ignoring,
What I’m asking you to do?
We used to be so close,
I used to feel so free,
But now it is quite clear,
That you’re strangers to me.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Shine For Me
Please keep in mind that I wrote alot of these during the "Jamie Debacle"....so the emotions showing in some of them don't exist anymore. That doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still good or meaningful to someone else. ;-)
***********************************************************************************
Shine For Me
Salvation waiting,
Meaningful flight,
Foot on the gas,
No wrong, but no right.
Wrong for you,
Wrong for me,
But Right lies in us being free.
Resolve is strong,
Will wont break,
Can't repeat,
The same mistake.
Love you now,
Loved you then,
Wont let us go through this again.
Unpaved road,
Gotta let it be,
Try to navigate,
But I cannot see,
It forks ahead,
Don't know what to do,
Wanna take the path,
That leads to you.
(Chorus)
Help me find it,
I need your light,
Help me find you,
I know it's right.
Holdin' you is not a sin,
Open up and let me in,
Shine for me,
Show me what to do,
Shine for me,
I'll shine for you.
Together but seperate,
Uncomfortable life,
Not spouses,
Not lovers,
Not husband,
Not wife.
Right for you,
Right for me,
But Wrong lies in us being free.
Attracting me,
Can't stay away,
Gotta break my heart,
Get through the day,
Path forks ahead,
Don't know what to do,
Wanna take the road,
That leads to you.
(Chorus)
Help me find it,
I need your light,
Help me find you,
I know it's right.
Holdin' you is not a sin,
Open up and let me in,
Shine for me,
Show me what to do,
Shine for me,
I'll shine for you.
***********************************************************************************
Shine For Me
Salvation waiting,
Meaningful flight,
Foot on the gas,
No wrong, but no right.
Wrong for you,
Wrong for me,
But Right lies in us being free.
Resolve is strong,
Will wont break,
Can't repeat,
The same mistake.
Love you now,
Loved you then,
Wont let us go through this again.
Unpaved road,
Gotta let it be,
Try to navigate,
But I cannot see,
It forks ahead,
Don't know what to do,
Wanna take the path,
That leads to you.
(Chorus)
Help me find it,
I need your light,
Help me find you,
I know it's right.
Holdin' you is not a sin,
Open up and let me in,
Shine for me,
Show me what to do,
Shine for me,
I'll shine for you.
Together but seperate,
Uncomfortable life,
Not spouses,
Not lovers,
Not husband,
Not wife.
Right for you,
Right for me,
But Wrong lies in us being free.
Attracting me,
Can't stay away,
Gotta break my heart,
Get through the day,
Path forks ahead,
Don't know what to do,
Wanna take the road,
That leads to you.
(Chorus)
Help me find it,
I need your light,
Help me find you,
I know it's right.
Holdin' you is not a sin,
Open up and let me in,
Shine for me,
Show me what to do,
Shine for me,
I'll shine for you.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Taste Your Breath
Taste Your Breath
I feel you,
I need you,
To complicate me.
I love you,
I want you,
Just set your heart free.
Together, we'll make it,
The critics, we will show,
As always, it's your choice,
You've gotta let me know.
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl,
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
The night time,
You breathing,
the beating of your heart.
I'm shaking,
I need you,
and now's the time to start.
So love me for forever,
I'll hold you 'til the dawn,
and when the dust all settles,
our love will not be gone.
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
So sweet,
The taste,
Your breath,
Don't waste.
Smallest,
Details,
Our love,
Prevails.
PREVAILS!
Prevails...
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
(Repeat Chorus)
I feel you,
I need you,
To complicate me.
I love you,
I want you,
Just set your heart free.
Together, we'll make it,
The critics, we will show,
As always, it's your choice,
You've gotta let me know.
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl,
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
The night time,
You breathing,
the beating of your heart.
I'm shaking,
I need you,
and now's the time to start.
So love me for forever,
I'll hold you 'til the dawn,
and when the dust all settles,
our love will not be gone.
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
So sweet,
The taste,
Your breath,
Don't waste.
Smallest,
Details,
Our love,
Prevails.
PREVAILS!
Prevails...
(Chorus)
A love that's set before you,
A choice that you must make,
Two hearts to beat as one, Girl
A promise you can't break.
To live and love forever,
In sickness or in death,
Press your lips to mine, Babe,
And let me taste your breath.
(Repeat Chorus)
Monday, August 31, 2009
No Talent
No Talent
Pinpoint a flapjack,
Throw it down the stairs,
Hardly a bit of sense,
But no one really cares.
Sodomize a pollywog,
Just screw it 'til it's dead,
This song sounds great,
Despite the lyrics,
If I can get it in your head.
It's all about the snappy,
It's gotta have the pop.
Make your head move side to side,
Your body wanna hop.
If you feel the music,
And it makes you wanna go,
Then let me "crank dat Soulja Boy",
And "supah soak dat hoe".
Writing don't take talent,
It's all about the beat,
I've gotta find the right equation,
To make you move your feet.
So get out on the dance floor,
Try to shake that rump,
I wanna play a song,
That will make that body bump.
So bump left,
Bump right,
You can do it all night,
Move your body on the floor,
Make it move just right.
To the sounds of my beat,
Getcha movin' those feet,
Cuz it takes no skill,
Havin' talent is a treat.
Strange thing about lyrics,
Ya don't know what they mean,
And the crtics only care,
If they're dirty or they're clean,
So spiderman a chicken,
Slam it in a door,
I don't care if you mean it,
Bump it on the floor.
Supernova blowing,
Get a grip on a stump,
I wanna play a song,
That will make that body bump.
So bump left,
Bump right,
You can do it all night,
Move your body on the floor,
Make it move just right.
To the sounds of my beat,
Getcha movin' those feet,
Cuz it takes no skill,
Havin' talent is a treat.
Pumpernickle, y'all.
123...
Sucka!!
Pinpoint a flapjack,
Throw it down the stairs,
Hardly a bit of sense,
But no one really cares.
Sodomize a pollywog,
Just screw it 'til it's dead,
This song sounds great,
Despite the lyrics,
If I can get it in your head.
It's all about the snappy,
It's gotta have the pop.
Make your head move side to side,
Your body wanna hop.
If you feel the music,
And it makes you wanna go,
Then let me "crank dat Soulja Boy",
And "supah soak dat hoe".
Writing don't take talent,
It's all about the beat,
I've gotta find the right equation,
To make you move your feet.
So get out on the dance floor,
Try to shake that rump,
I wanna play a song,
That will make that body bump.
So bump left,
Bump right,
You can do it all night,
Move your body on the floor,
Make it move just right.
To the sounds of my beat,
Getcha movin' those feet,
Cuz it takes no skill,
Havin' talent is a treat.
Strange thing about lyrics,
Ya don't know what they mean,
And the crtics only care,
If they're dirty or they're clean,
So spiderman a chicken,
Slam it in a door,
I don't care if you mean it,
Bump it on the floor.
Supernova blowing,
Get a grip on a stump,
I wanna play a song,
That will make that body bump.
So bump left,
Bump right,
You can do it all night,
Move your body on the floor,
Make it move just right.
To the sounds of my beat,
Getcha movin' those feet,
Cuz it takes no skill,
Havin' talent is a treat.
Pumpernickle, y'all.
123...
Sucka!!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
They were WRONG!!!
So, as much as I'd like to share the awesomeness of having Heidi with us and tell you about how she peed all over me while I was changing her diaper...I wont. I just want to mention one thing....
When Paola got pregnant everyone we worked with and a few friends (not my parent because they knew better...they knew what I was doing!) told us BOTH that I would gain weight along with her while she was pregnant....
I lost 20 lbs. :)
And I eat more than I have in a long time. Just better I guess.
Woot!
When Paola got pregnant everyone we worked with and a few friends (not my parent because they knew better...they knew what I was doing!) told us BOTH that I would gain weight along with her while she was pregnant....
I lost 20 lbs. :)
And I eat more than I have in a long time. Just better I guess.
Woot!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Saturday Night (Babyless)
Based off of your knowledge and assumptions about the things that have transpired in my life over the last couple of years...I'll let you make your own interpretations of this. :)
**********************************************************************************
A picture painted of me,
It can't be true,
Not who I am,
I'll show that to you.
The monster in me,
Is not anymore,
And an angel's waiting for me,
Holding the door.
Almost by accident,
I fell for you,
Too scared to tell,
What am I to do?
You're lighting my days,
Like a bright shining star,
But afraid to tell you,
I admire from afar.
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
I'm head over heels,
You did this to me,
No breath when we talk,
It's easty to see,
Written in red,
All over my face,
Dreaming of you,
When I'm back at my place,
It's been a long time,
Haven't felt like this,
Not wanting your body,
But craving your kiss..
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
Please talk to me,
Tell me what to do,
Someone save me,
Help me with you.....
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
**********************************************************************************
A picture painted of me,
It can't be true,
Not who I am,
I'll show that to you.
The monster in me,
Is not anymore,
And an angel's waiting for me,
Holding the door.
Almost by accident,
I fell for you,
Too scared to tell,
What am I to do?
You're lighting my days,
Like a bright shining star,
But afraid to tell you,
I admire from afar.
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
I'm head over heels,
You did this to me,
No breath when we talk,
It's easty to see,
Written in red,
All over my face,
Dreaming of you,
When I'm back at my place,
It's been a long time,
Haven't felt like this,
Not wanting your body,
But craving your kiss..
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
Please talk to me,
Tell me what to do,
Someone save me,
Help me with you.....
A feeling in me,
It's what I'm supposed to do,
But the hardest part,
Is convincing you,
Amazing to me,
How hard that I fell,
But lookin' at you.
I'll never tell...
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Journey Continues
The journey through the old writings continues with a song that was written very early in the process. The general idea was..."Tell me how you feel. If you love me, tell me. If you don't, tell me."
I think many would agree that had my ex wife taken this to heart years ago...it would have saved me alot of heartache, discontent, and confusion..... I've all but forgotten that now though. ;)
***************************************************************************************
How You Feel
You might not see tomorrow,
It's promised to no one,
Might wake up blind...
You cannot see,
Or be the victim of a gun.
You can't predict the future,
Or the way that things will go,
So if you are in love with me,
You oughtta let me know.
Death comes so fast,
Takes you away,
You might not see another day,
Wake up blind,
Cannot see,
If you are in love with me,
Talk to me,
Let me know,
The only way our Love can grow.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
You think that I should know,
But I don't have a clue,
Can't see the hints,
Don't feel the love,
That's all because of you.
You try to keep it secret,
Wont tell me that you care,
I walk the world in heartache,
Now tell me that is fair...
Don't wanna ask,
Shouldn't have to plead,
It's just another thing I need,
Don't leave me blind,
I cannot see,
If you are in love with me,
Talk to me,
Let me know,
The only way our Love can grow.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
I think many would agree that had my ex wife taken this to heart years ago...it would have saved me alot of heartache, discontent, and confusion..... I've all but forgotten that now though. ;)
***************************************************************************************
How You Feel
You might not see tomorrow,
It's promised to no one,
Might wake up blind...
You cannot see,
Or be the victim of a gun.
You can't predict the future,
Or the way that things will go,
So if you are in love with me,
You oughtta let me know.
Death comes so fast,
Takes you away,
You might not see another day,
Wake up blind,
Cannot see,
If you are in love with me,
Talk to me,
Let me know,
The only way our Love can grow.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
You think that I should know,
But I don't have a clue,
Can't see the hints,
Don't feel the love,
That's all because of you.
You try to keep it secret,
Wont tell me that you care,
I walk the world in heartache,
Now tell me that is fair...
Don't wanna ask,
Shouldn't have to plead,
It's just another thing I need,
Don't leave me blind,
I cannot see,
If you are in love with me,
Talk to me,
Let me know,
The only way our Love can grow.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
I've gotta hear it.
I've gotta feel.
I want to breathe it,
This love,if it's real.
Make me believe it,
I want to know,
Open up your heart to me,
Let your feelings show.
Can't plan this for Forever,
Forever isn't real,
Open up your Soul to me,
Show me how you feel.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
When "Imbalance" Becomes "Balance"
Over the last two years I spent a significant time in a state of emotional confusion. One nifty thing that came out of these frequent "flare ups" of emotion was that I wrote poems and songs to help cope.
If I posted all of these in chronological order the emotional sequence from anxiety, to anger, to acceptance, to eventually moving on with my life (and even a couple before I "officially" had moved on that described emotions I was beginning to have) would be clearly visible.
Anyways, I wrote this one pretty early on during the process. I was always quite fond of it. Somewhere along the way I heard that "Love" was an emotion that was triggered by an imbalance/chemical reaction in the brain.
Based off of the relationship I have with my wife, I've come to not believe that so much. "Lust" may be chemical, but actual "Love" is something different. (Though "Lust" may be one of the triggering factors.........O.o /ponder)
Anyhow, I've elected to share these writings over time...and chose this one first:
*************************************************************************************
Chemical Imbalance
I didn't choose you,
Never wanted you in my heart,
So comfortable and secure in myself,
How did these feelings start?
Love is that way,
There's hardly a choice,
Your heart runs away,
Never hearing your voice,
You try to scream out,
As it's going astray,
No need to shout,
Let your heart run away.
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an inbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
You didn't choose me,
Resistant to my loving touch,
Facing life with no fear,
But I'll be your crutch.
Love is that way,
You don't choose a thing,
My heart's hear to stay,
You're feeling that sting,
You wanna scream out,
Your heart's gone astray,
No need to shout,
Let your heart run away...
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an inbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
So don't be afraid,
Don't shy away,
Love's an imbalance,
My heart's here to stay....
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an imbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
(Riff)
I don't choose to love you...
You don't choose to love me...
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an imbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
If I posted all of these in chronological order the emotional sequence from anxiety, to anger, to acceptance, to eventually moving on with my life (and even a couple before I "officially" had moved on that described emotions I was beginning to have) would be clearly visible.
Anyways, I wrote this one pretty early on during the process. I was always quite fond of it. Somewhere along the way I heard that "Love" was an emotion that was triggered by an imbalance/chemical reaction in the brain.
Based off of the relationship I have with my wife, I've come to not believe that so much. "Lust" may be chemical, but actual "Love" is something different. (Though "Lust" may be one of the triggering factors.........O.o /ponder)
Anyhow, I've elected to share these writings over time...and chose this one first:
*************************************************************************************
Chemical Imbalance
I didn't choose you,
Never wanted you in my heart,
So comfortable and secure in myself,
How did these feelings start?
Love is that way,
There's hardly a choice,
Your heart runs away,
Never hearing your voice,
You try to scream out,
As it's going astray,
No need to shout,
Let your heart run away.
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an inbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
You didn't choose me,
Resistant to my loving touch,
Facing life with no fear,
But I'll be your crutch.
Love is that way,
You don't choose a thing,
My heart's hear to stay,
You're feeling that sting,
You wanna scream out,
Your heart's gone astray,
No need to shout,
Let your heart run away...
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an inbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
So don't be afraid,
Don't shy away,
Love's an imbalance,
My heart's here to stay....
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an imbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
(Riff)
I don't choose to love you...
You don't choose to love me...
(Chorus)
Don't get to force it,
No need to fight it,
You must accept it,
No need to right it,
Just an imbalance,
It's in your brain,
You can't control it,
It'll drive you insane.
Take you to heaven,
Drag you through Hell,
Just an imbalance,
You'll know that you fell
(Chorus)
Just A Little Taste
As the last few days have gone by, I've found myself being very lazy with my writing and recording of videos (etc.).
So, as a little treat to those loyal enough to read my blog. I've thrown up an old writing from the hard drive that failed on my recent machine.
The "song" was inspired by my love for gaming. "2fort" is a map in Team Fortress Classic, "For The Horde" is an achievement in World of Warcraft in which you kill all of the Alliance "World Bosses". I know, I know....it's kind of hard to explain it all...but the general gist of the piece is that gaming is my "adrenaline cocktail", which the song was aptly named back then. While it isn't one of the best I've posted...it's clearly one of the "lost" pieces. Maybe someday I'll search through my MySpace blog and share some of the others with you. :)
*************************************************************************************"Adrenaline Cocktail"
2Fort at 12 AM,
Flesh is burnin',
Conc to put me out.
Enemy's got intel again,
Gunna cap,
Loss without a doubt.
But still we're running,
Forget to go to bed,
Chase that scout down,
Put a bullet in his head,
No, we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
"For The Horde" at 2 AM,
Allies sleepin',
Time to take the King out,
Try to form outside the gates,
But it's camped,
Have to find a different route.
So we take the Tram,
Forget to go to bed,
45 of us rush on in,
On the King and now he's dead,
No, we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
You can't understand,
What pulls me in,
Why I sit for hours,
Do the same thing again,
Baby it's not you,
Don't throw a fit,
Killing pixels is my drug,
And I need a hit.
So I'm logging on,
Forget to come to bed,
Be tired in the morning,
With a pounding head.
But we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
So, as a little treat to those loyal enough to read my blog. I've thrown up an old writing from the hard drive that failed on my recent machine.
The "song" was inspired by my love for gaming. "2fort" is a map in Team Fortress Classic, "For The Horde" is an achievement in World of Warcraft in which you kill all of the Alliance "World Bosses". I know, I know....it's kind of hard to explain it all...but the general gist of the piece is that gaming is my "adrenaline cocktail", which the song was aptly named back then. While it isn't one of the best I've posted...it's clearly one of the "lost" pieces. Maybe someday I'll search through my MySpace blog and share some of the others with you. :)
*************************************************************************************"Adrenaline Cocktail"
2Fort at 12 AM,
Flesh is burnin',
Conc to put me out.
Enemy's got intel again,
Gunna cap,
Loss without a doubt.
But still we're running,
Forget to go to bed,
Chase that scout down,
Put a bullet in his head,
No, we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
"For The Horde" at 2 AM,
Allies sleepin',
Time to take the King out,
Try to form outside the gates,
But it's camped,
Have to find a different route.
So we take the Tram,
Forget to go to bed,
45 of us rush on in,
On the King and now he's dead,
No, we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
You can't understand,
What pulls me in,
Why I sit for hours,
Do the same thing again,
Baby it's not you,
Don't throw a fit,
Killing pixels is my drug,
And I need a hit.
So I'm logging on,
Forget to come to bed,
Be tired in the morning,
With a pounding head.
But we're not gunna fail,
Sipping on my adrenaline cocktail.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Video = Fail
I had a bunch to say, but the video I was recording reached is maximum amount of attempts and I decided to abandon it.
First off, it was extremely hot in my garage. Secondly, I misspoke in the next of the two takes. Then....the light in the garage blew out in the middle of a take. Finally, I knocked the camera off of it's stand onto the ground.
When I finally did manage to pull it all together, I was recording the thing when the former residents of my condo decided to swing by and see if the garage door opener still worked....
*********************************
In the end, my message was aimed directly at someone in particular...so I'll go ahead and use this medium to convey it:
Molly,
Not only are you a brilliant song writer, you are also a fabulous musician with a lovely voice and good looks to match.
I see little to no reason for you to be as "terrified" as you are for your upcoming live show and wish I could be there to witness it.
As I've followed you on YouTube, one aspect of your videos is very apparent to me and is a great lesson to all:
You enjoy what you are doing.
So long as you keep this attitude up, and keep having fun...I see no way you can fail. ;)
First off, it was extremely hot in my garage. Secondly, I misspoke in the next of the two takes. Then....the light in the garage blew out in the middle of a take. Finally, I knocked the camera off of it's stand onto the ground.
When I finally did manage to pull it all together, I was recording the thing when the former residents of my condo decided to swing by and see if the garage door opener still worked....
*********************************
In the end, my message was aimed directly at someone in particular...so I'll go ahead and use this medium to convey it:
Molly,
Not only are you a brilliant song writer, you are also a fabulous musician with a lovely voice and good looks to match.
I see little to no reason for you to be as "terrified" as you are for your upcoming live show and wish I could be there to witness it.
As I've followed you on YouTube, one aspect of your videos is very apparent to me and is a great lesson to all:
You enjoy what you are doing.
So long as you keep this attitude up, and keep having fun...I see no way you can fail. ;)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Untitled (Not my typical)
Old man,
Standin' at the corner,
Preachin' to the cars as they pass by,
In his cup,
He's got one quarter,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Keep him warm,
As he falls asleep,
Underneath that freeway bridge,
Wake him up,
In the morning,
So he can go and preach again,
People turn away,
They think he's nutty,
Never look at him in the eye,
But still he preaches,
About salvation,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Little girl,
With her teddy,
Barely movin' in her hospice bed,
Her body's weakened,
But still she smiles,
Even though she's got no hair on her head.
Her daddy loves her,
And it's a longshot,
But it's something that they have to try,
They wheel the bed away,
For the procedure,
Angels hold her close as they cry.
The warmth of all the tears they shed,
Keeps her breathing along the way,
Pacing back and forth in front of her room,
All her dad can do it pray.
The door opens up,
Doctor comes out,
And simply nods his head,
The procedure that they had performed,
Worked just like they had said...
Little baby,
In her daddy's arms,
For the first time opens her eyes,
He's lost inside them,
His heart is gone now,
He holds her close as he starts to cry.
Standin' at the corner,
Preachin' to the cars as they pass by,
In his cup,
He's got one quarter,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Keep him warm,
As he falls asleep,
Underneath that freeway bridge,
Wake him up,
In the morning,
So he can go and preach again,
People turn away,
They think he's nutty,
Never look at him in the eye,
But still he preaches,
About salvation,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Little girl,
With her teddy,
Barely movin' in her hospice bed,
Her body's weakened,
But still she smiles,
Even though she's got no hair on her head.
Her daddy loves her,
And it's a longshot,
But it's something that they have to try,
They wheel the bed away,
For the procedure,
Angels hold her close as they cry.
The warmth of all the tears they shed,
Keeps her breathing along the way,
Pacing back and forth in front of her room,
All her dad can do it pray.
The door opens up,
Doctor comes out,
And simply nods his head,
The procedure that they had performed,
Worked just like they had said...
Little baby,
In her daddy's arms,
For the first time opens her eyes,
He's lost inside them,
His heart is gone now,
He holds her close as he starts to cry.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Missing RoD!!
As I do when I am absent from work, I begin to feel out of the loop and just plain uninformed in general on happenings within our guild when I am away.
I can't help but wonder about the people I consider my second family. I'm not talking about the journeymen who bounce from guild to guild, using ours as a home for a brief time before moving on to another; I'm talking about the individuals I've grown to know, love, and respect in the last 2 1/2 years who have consistently been members of Requiem of Decay since I joined.
I wonder about their successes and failures in the game individually and as a team. I also really miss the few who were close enough to exchange information about real life with.
Most of all, I miss my good buddy Dave (eh!). Our playing times over the last few months or so have been entirely contradictory to each other, and I feel like I never get to play with him anymore.
While I've met many, many great people in WoW (some of who I would consider to be very close friends) I'm not sure I've had the pleasure of meeting anyone I'm more fond of than him. (I don't even know why!)
So today, I salute Requiem of Decay.I can't wait to be back in game with you all.....and also /bow to Twinleaf/Kanttan/Taneka/Dave. Hopefully our paths begin to cross a little more frequently.
I can't help but wonder about the people I consider my second family. I'm not talking about the journeymen who bounce from guild to guild, using ours as a home for a brief time before moving on to another; I'm talking about the individuals I've grown to know, love, and respect in the last 2 1/2 years who have consistently been members of Requiem of Decay since I joined.
I wonder about their successes and failures in the game individually and as a team. I also really miss the few who were close enough to exchange information about real life with.
Most of all, I miss my good buddy Dave (eh!). Our playing times over the last few months or so have been entirely contradictory to each other, and I feel like I never get to play with him anymore.
While I've met many, many great people in WoW (some of who I would consider to be very close friends) I'm not sure I've had the pleasure of meeting anyone I'm more fond of than him. (I don't even know why!)
So today, I salute Requiem of Decay.I can't wait to be back in game with you all.....and also /bow to Twinleaf/Kanttan/Taneka/Dave. Hopefully our paths begin to cross a little more frequently.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It's Coming...
(I should precede all of this by saying this is probably a pretty typical thought process for someone in my position and nothing to worry too much about.)
Over the last 10 months or so, I've been highly aware of the tsunami building on the horizon. Thanks to the recent exploits of Jimmi III (getting married, etc.) there has been some light shed on just how ridiculously huge that wave is.
(I assume this is a normal fear...) In about two weeks, Paola will bring new life into this world, a life that we are ultimately responsible for (for 18 years at least, though given my past experiences with my parents, I find it can last at least 27!!) Suddenly questions I was so sure I'd answered, emotions I was so sure I had under control are starting to bubble up inside me.
A huge part of this is likely because I feel as though I'm not facing the brunt of this wave fully braced. You see, I have a delicate, but very important support system. Unfortunately, for Heidi's grand appearance I (very likely) am going to be missing MOST of what makes me feel comfortable and confident that I can take most things in stride.
First off, Paola, while there, will not be of much use for emotional support...because I will be doing that business for her while she works her way through this miracle.
Secondly, my mom is working nights and there is a very good possibility that she wont be immediately available. (Which also scratches my brother from the slate -- my only real consolation is that eventually they both will be there for us.)
Third, Jimmicito is leaving next Wednesday for Maryland and will not be returning until August 15th...which limits the possiblity of him being with me severely...
Finally, one of my huge emotional rocks (though I seldom admit it) is all the way across the country in another state. My dad.
All that about Heidi's birth being said...there is still the subject matter of taking financial responsibility (which I apparently can't even manage for myself) for our family's sole provider.
Good grief!
I'm still happy though. Very, very happy.
Just fabricating things to worry about in my boredom and impatience, I think. =oP
Over the last 10 months or so, I've been highly aware of the tsunami building on the horizon. Thanks to the recent exploits of Jimmi III (getting married, etc.) there has been some light shed on just how ridiculously huge that wave is.
(I assume this is a normal fear...) In about two weeks, Paola will bring new life into this world, a life that we are ultimately responsible for (for 18 years at least, though given my past experiences with my parents, I find it can last at least 27!!) Suddenly questions I was so sure I'd answered, emotions I was so sure I had under control are starting to bubble up inside me.
A huge part of this is likely because I feel as though I'm not facing the brunt of this wave fully braced. You see, I have a delicate, but very important support system. Unfortunately, for Heidi's grand appearance I (very likely) am going to be missing MOST of what makes me feel comfortable and confident that I can take most things in stride.
First off, Paola, while there, will not be of much use for emotional support...because I will be doing that business for her while she works her way through this miracle.
Secondly, my mom is working nights and there is a very good possibility that she wont be immediately available. (Which also scratches my brother from the slate -- my only real consolation is that eventually they both will be there for us.)
Third, Jimmicito is leaving next Wednesday for Maryland and will not be returning until August 15th...which limits the possiblity of him being with me severely...
Finally, one of my huge emotional rocks (though I seldom admit it) is all the way across the country in another state. My dad.
All that about Heidi's birth being said...there is still the subject matter of taking financial responsibility (which I apparently can't even manage for myself) for our family's sole provider.
Good grief!
I'm still happy though. Very, very happy.
Just fabricating things to worry about in my boredom and impatience, I think. =oP
Friday, July 24, 2009
It's Finally Friday!
Well Friends, Friday has finally decided to roll back around and put an end to what has been a very interesting work week for me.
My half day on Tuesday let me go to court and get my divorce finalized. This led me to be allowed to marry my beautiful wife on Thursday!
What a week.
That aside, 13 weeks ago I wrote a letter to my daughter as a mini project for a baby book that Paola was putting together. I've decided to append it to the end of this, not only to share the emotion and joy I feel for my new relationship and our new baby...but also so there will be an e-copy somewhere. /grin
*************************************************************************************
Heidi,
As articulate as daddy can sometimes be, I’m not certain that there are any words to describe the way I feel (and have felt) since we first found out that we were being blessed with a baby. I remember holding back the tears of joy when your mommy first showed me the positive pregnancy test.
As evidence of your growth becomes more apparent inside your mommy’s tummy, my excitement and anticipation continue to grow. At this point, mommy is just over halfway pregnant with you (24 weeks) but both of us are really excited to meet you and get the opportunity to help guide your way through the world.
Daddy loves you, Heidi. You already have me wrapped around your little finger. I can’t wait to meet you.
Love Always,
Daddy
My half day on Tuesday let me go to court and get my divorce finalized. This led me to be allowed to marry my beautiful wife on Thursday!
What a week.
That aside, 13 weeks ago I wrote a letter to my daughter as a mini project for a baby book that Paola was putting together. I've decided to append it to the end of this, not only to share the emotion and joy I feel for my new relationship and our new baby...but also so there will be an e-copy somewhere. /grin
*************************************************************************************
Heidi,
As articulate as daddy can sometimes be, I’m not certain that there are any words to describe the way I feel (and have felt) since we first found out that we were being blessed with a baby. I remember holding back the tears of joy when your mommy first showed me the positive pregnancy test.
As evidence of your growth becomes more apparent inside your mommy’s tummy, my excitement and anticipation continue to grow. At this point, mommy is just over halfway pregnant with you (24 weeks) but both of us are really excited to meet you and get the opportunity to help guide your way through the world.
Daddy loves you, Heidi. You already have me wrapped around your little finger. I can’t wait to meet you.
Love Always,
Daddy
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Jimmi & Paola Desrosiers
I'm very, VERY happy to announce that Paola Leon Cabezas became Paola Desrosiers today.
I'm married!!!!!!!!!!
I'm married!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Victory!
I can't help but feel as though I have returned home from a gruesome battle victorious. As I glance down to the battered shield and bloodstained blade, I begin to realize just how horrific the last few years actually was for me....
But rather than revel in the less than stellar memories of the past...I'd like to begin to rejoice the wonderful things that have come to pass in recent months and will happen in the very near future.
First off, through time, I grew courageous enough to ask Paola to come to dinner with me. The relationship blossomed (slowly -albeit) from that point on. We've had our moments...both of us have taken turns being rude to the other....but the eventual outcome was me asking her (or telling her) to marry me on December 4, 2008.
Shortly thereafter we learned that would be blessed with a baby and although (I felt) her vanity might have caused her to take some medicine to clear up a condition she was having (that subsequently would have endangered her pregnancy).... she showed the true selflessness that has come to define Paola. I have had the pleasure of meeting one other person as willing to sacrifice for their loved ones as her. (<3 Mom)
A few months later, we learned that our blessing was going to be named Heidi Alexis Desrosiers (it was a girl -- for those who couldn't read between the lines). In the time since then, I've faced quite a few internal questions regarding the impending birth of our baby. I'm happy to say that the (very fast) internal responses were always positive, "I'm ready", and "I'll kill that son of a bitch!!". (Which has shown me how ready I am to father a little girl.)
Yesterday marked the end of a long, arduous period in my life. I am now free to do what I have wanted to do for a long time: Marry Paola.
I would ask you to join me in celebration...but I didn't wait for you....and now my liver is letting me know how wrong that was.
=o)
But rather than revel in the less than stellar memories of the past...I'd like to begin to rejoice the wonderful things that have come to pass in recent months and will happen in the very near future.
First off, through time, I grew courageous enough to ask Paola to come to dinner with me. The relationship blossomed (slowly -albeit) from that point on. We've had our moments...both of us have taken turns being rude to the other....but the eventual outcome was me asking her (or telling her) to marry me on December 4, 2008.
Shortly thereafter we learned that would be blessed with a baby and although (I felt) her vanity might have caused her to take some medicine to clear up a condition she was having (that subsequently would have endangered her pregnancy).... she showed the true selflessness that has come to define Paola. I have had the pleasure of meeting one other person as willing to sacrifice for their loved ones as her. (<3 Mom)
A few months later, we learned that our blessing was going to be named Heidi Alexis Desrosiers (it was a girl -- for those who couldn't read between the lines). In the time since then, I've faced quite a few internal questions regarding the impending birth of our baby. I'm happy to say that the (very fast) internal responses were always positive, "I'm ready", and "I'll kill that son of a bitch!!". (Which has shown me how ready I am to father a little girl.)
Yesterday marked the end of a long, arduous period in my life. I am now free to do what I have wanted to do for a long time: Marry Paola.
I would ask you to join me in celebration...but I didn't wait for you....and now my liver is letting me know how wrong that was.
=o)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Preparing for Battle
Some are aware that today I will be going to court to "take status".
What that means for me immediately...I don't really know.......what it ultimately means: I will be single and free to remarry Paola.
I don't really know what the timeframe for that is, but based on how long Jamie has stalled with the settlement agreement...it would definitely take longer to wait for the paperwork to be submitted.
We have waited far, far too long for this opportunity. I originally filed for divorce in October of last year. I had hoped that after the 6 month & 1 day waiting period, we could finalize it...but Jamie is not paying her own lawyer bill (her parents are) and elected to continue the case out further in her efforts to gain (some sort of) victory by ensuring I couldn't marry Heidi's mom before she was born.
This morning she made a comment about how she was discontent that my lawyer had changed some of the wording to the MSA that she'd written. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know wtf kind of person thinks they have the right in any situation to decide what is fair for both parties and that they ultimately will decide what is written in an MSA. Isn't that the entire reason for court and lawyers? She didn't honestly think I was pouring thousands of dollars into a lawyer so that I could take what she says (verbatim) and sign it?
Lawl. Just....................lawl.
All that mental retardation aside....
Jimmicito came home with an awful rash on his face and chest. After a couple rounds of Cortaid 10 and some Children's Benadryl it seems to have subsided a little bit. He still has some remenants of it, and I'm not entirely sure what caused it.
My very (very) limited knowledge of rash symptoms leads me to believe that it may have been a form of heat rash, because it was kind of hot to the touch. It has also been unusually warm for SoCal the last week or two.
One of the very nice things that my divorce and engagement has brought me is a closeness with Jimmi that allows him to speak with me very freely. We talk often about the way he is feeling, the things he wants to do, and the things he wants from me. As I said yesterday, I feel like these conversations help me to prepare for obstacles that I will someday face down the road.
As I sit here now, it is my belief that Jimmicito will never excel in school. I don't feel like it's because of a lack of intelligence, he is very smart! Jimmi, however, already seems to have been bitten by the same bug that I was bitten by in school. He doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it, it doesn't seem fun to him, he retains alot of what he learns, but he only seems to want to do what is required of him even though he is capable of far more. Man, that sounds familiar. Karma has come full circle to bite me in the ass on that one.
Also, I've noted that while his artistic ability is...."sub-par"....he (like me) takes a great deal of pride in every thing creative that he does. Every EXTREMELY busy piece of art work tells a story that he does not forget and when he does something he does NOT like to be criticized about it or have someone else change it.
That really hurts his feelings.
Lately we've been spending alot of time together playing video games and just wrestling around. I'm pretty confident that he's going to be an amazing big brother ....so he'll be reprising his role in Fatherhood I and Marriage I in their respective sequels. =o)
***KELENYA UPDATE***
The latest trophy pictures from Naxx are up on the Requiem of Decay Guild Portal page! Enjoy!
What that means for me immediately...I don't really know.......what it ultimately means: I will be single and free to remarry Paola.
I don't really know what the timeframe for that is, but based on how long Jamie has stalled with the settlement agreement...it would definitely take longer to wait for the paperwork to be submitted.
We have waited far, far too long for this opportunity. I originally filed for divorce in October of last year. I had hoped that after the 6 month & 1 day waiting period, we could finalize it...but Jamie is not paying her own lawyer bill (her parents are) and elected to continue the case out further in her efforts to gain (some sort of) victory by ensuring I couldn't marry Heidi's mom before she was born.
This morning she made a comment about how she was discontent that my lawyer had changed some of the wording to the MSA that she'd written. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know wtf kind of person thinks they have the right in any situation to decide what is fair for both parties and that they ultimately will decide what is written in an MSA. Isn't that the entire reason for court and lawyers? She didn't honestly think I was pouring thousands of dollars into a lawyer so that I could take what she says (verbatim) and sign it?
Lawl. Just....................lawl.
All that mental retardation aside....
Jimmicito came home with an awful rash on his face and chest. After a couple rounds of Cortaid 10 and some Children's Benadryl it seems to have subsided a little bit. He still has some remenants of it, and I'm not entirely sure what caused it.
My very (very) limited knowledge of rash symptoms leads me to believe that it may have been a form of heat rash, because it was kind of hot to the touch. It has also been unusually warm for SoCal the last week or two.
One of the very nice things that my divorce and engagement has brought me is a closeness with Jimmi that allows him to speak with me very freely. We talk often about the way he is feeling, the things he wants to do, and the things he wants from me. As I said yesterday, I feel like these conversations help me to prepare for obstacles that I will someday face down the road.
As I sit here now, it is my belief that Jimmicito will never excel in school. I don't feel like it's because of a lack of intelligence, he is very smart! Jimmi, however, already seems to have been bitten by the same bug that I was bitten by in school. He doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it, it doesn't seem fun to him, he retains alot of what he learns, but he only seems to want to do what is required of him even though he is capable of far more. Man, that sounds familiar. Karma has come full circle to bite me in the ass on that one.
Also, I've noted that while his artistic ability is...."sub-par"....he (like me) takes a great deal of pride in every thing creative that he does. Every EXTREMELY busy piece of art work tells a story that he does not forget and when he does something he does NOT like to be criticized about it or have someone else change it.
That really hurts his feelings.
Lately we've been spending alot of time together playing video games and just wrestling around. I'm pretty confident that he's going to be an amazing big brother ....so he'll be reprising his role in Fatherhood I and Marriage I in their respective sequels. =o)
***KELENYA UPDATE***
The latest trophy pictures from Naxx are up on the Requiem of Decay Guild Portal page! Enjoy!
Monday, July 20, 2009
It Starts
Hopefully, as time goes by, many of my friends from MySpace and Facebook will find their way over to this new blog.
I feel the necessity to write. Not out of urge or emotion as I did in the past during my frustrating endeavors with marriage, but rather as a way of continuing to stimulate my mind and record my thoughts and feelings as I work on playing out the newest chapters in my life. (Fatherhood Part II & Marriage Part II)
In a little less than a day I will attend court to help Marriage Part I come to an end. Fortunately, (for me) I was lucky enough to find a co-producer that I get along with quite well to help me film Marriage Part II.
She also agreed to help me do Fatherhood II.
So ya...things are looking up from here. There are hurdles to jump and mountains to climb, but now that the uncertainty is behind me, I'm (mostly) aware of the obstacles I face. I feel like that gives me a much better sense of preparation and that I might actually get a chance to plan for some of these.
Obviously, it is to be expected that the filming of Fatherhood II will be spontaneous (at best) but I look forward to it with great anticipation and actually have found myself growing a little impatient as we wait to shoot it.
***KELENYA UPDATE***
My guild rocks.
That's all really.
I feel the necessity to write. Not out of urge or emotion as I did in the past during my frustrating endeavors with marriage, but rather as a way of continuing to stimulate my mind and record my thoughts and feelings as I work on playing out the newest chapters in my life. (Fatherhood Part II & Marriage Part II)
In a little less than a day I will attend court to help Marriage Part I come to an end. Fortunately, (for me) I was lucky enough to find a co-producer that I get along with quite well to help me film Marriage Part II.
She also agreed to help me do Fatherhood II.
So ya...things are looking up from here. There are hurdles to jump and mountains to climb, but now that the uncertainty is behind me, I'm (mostly) aware of the obstacles I face. I feel like that gives me a much better sense of preparation and that I might actually get a chance to plan for some of these.
Obviously, it is to be expected that the filming of Fatherhood II will be spontaneous (at best) but I look forward to it with great anticipation and actually have found myself growing a little impatient as we wait to shoot it.
***KELENYA UPDATE***
My guild rocks.
That's all really.
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