Old man,
Standin' at the corner,
Preachin' to the cars as they pass by,
In his cup,
He's got one quarter,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Keep him warm,
As he falls asleep,
Underneath that freeway bridge,
Wake him up,
In the morning,
So he can go and preach again,
People turn away,
They think he's nutty,
Never look at him in the eye,
But still he preaches,
About salvation,
Angels hold him close as they cry.
Little girl,
With her teddy,
Barely movin' in her hospice bed,
Her body's weakened,
But still she smiles,
Even though she's got no hair on her head.
Her daddy loves her,
And it's a longshot,
But it's something that they have to try,
They wheel the bed away,
For the procedure,
Angels hold her close as they cry.
The warmth of all the tears they shed,
Keeps her breathing along the way,
Pacing back and forth in front of her room,
All her dad can do it pray.
The door opens up,
Doctor comes out,
And simply nods his head,
The procedure that they had performed,
Worked just like they had said...
Little baby,
In her daddy's arms,
For the first time opens her eyes,
He's lost inside them,
His heart is gone now,
He holds her close as he starts to cry.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Missing RoD!!
As I do when I am absent from work, I begin to feel out of the loop and just plain uninformed in general on happenings within our guild when I am away.
I can't help but wonder about the people I consider my second family. I'm not talking about the journeymen who bounce from guild to guild, using ours as a home for a brief time before moving on to another; I'm talking about the individuals I've grown to know, love, and respect in the last 2 1/2 years who have consistently been members of Requiem of Decay since I joined.
I wonder about their successes and failures in the game individually and as a team. I also really miss the few who were close enough to exchange information about real life with.
Most of all, I miss my good buddy Dave (eh!). Our playing times over the last few months or so have been entirely contradictory to each other, and I feel like I never get to play with him anymore.
While I've met many, many great people in WoW (some of who I would consider to be very close friends) I'm not sure I've had the pleasure of meeting anyone I'm more fond of than him. (I don't even know why!)
So today, I salute Requiem of Decay.I can't wait to be back in game with you all.....and also /bow to Twinleaf/Kanttan/Taneka/Dave. Hopefully our paths begin to cross a little more frequently.
I can't help but wonder about the people I consider my second family. I'm not talking about the journeymen who bounce from guild to guild, using ours as a home for a brief time before moving on to another; I'm talking about the individuals I've grown to know, love, and respect in the last 2 1/2 years who have consistently been members of Requiem of Decay since I joined.
I wonder about their successes and failures in the game individually and as a team. I also really miss the few who were close enough to exchange information about real life with.
Most of all, I miss my good buddy Dave (eh!). Our playing times over the last few months or so have been entirely contradictory to each other, and I feel like I never get to play with him anymore.
While I've met many, many great people in WoW (some of who I would consider to be very close friends) I'm not sure I've had the pleasure of meeting anyone I'm more fond of than him. (I don't even know why!)
So today, I salute Requiem of Decay.I can't wait to be back in game with you all.....and also /bow to Twinleaf/Kanttan/Taneka/Dave. Hopefully our paths begin to cross a little more frequently.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It's Coming...
(I should precede all of this by saying this is probably a pretty typical thought process for someone in my position and nothing to worry too much about.)
Over the last 10 months or so, I've been highly aware of the tsunami building on the horizon. Thanks to the recent exploits of Jimmi III (getting married, etc.) there has been some light shed on just how ridiculously huge that wave is.
(I assume this is a normal fear...) In about two weeks, Paola will bring new life into this world, a life that we are ultimately responsible for (for 18 years at least, though given my past experiences with my parents, I find it can last at least 27!!) Suddenly questions I was so sure I'd answered, emotions I was so sure I had under control are starting to bubble up inside me.
A huge part of this is likely because I feel as though I'm not facing the brunt of this wave fully braced. You see, I have a delicate, but very important support system. Unfortunately, for Heidi's grand appearance I (very likely) am going to be missing MOST of what makes me feel comfortable and confident that I can take most things in stride.
First off, Paola, while there, will not be of much use for emotional support...because I will be doing that business for her while she works her way through this miracle.
Secondly, my mom is working nights and there is a very good possibility that she wont be immediately available. (Which also scratches my brother from the slate -- my only real consolation is that eventually they both will be there for us.)
Third, Jimmicito is leaving next Wednesday for Maryland and will not be returning until August 15th...which limits the possiblity of him being with me severely...
Finally, one of my huge emotional rocks (though I seldom admit it) is all the way across the country in another state. My dad.
All that about Heidi's birth being said...there is still the subject matter of taking financial responsibility (which I apparently can't even manage for myself) for our family's sole provider.
Good grief!
I'm still happy though. Very, very happy.
Just fabricating things to worry about in my boredom and impatience, I think. =oP
Over the last 10 months or so, I've been highly aware of the tsunami building on the horizon. Thanks to the recent exploits of Jimmi III (getting married, etc.) there has been some light shed on just how ridiculously huge that wave is.
(I assume this is a normal fear...) In about two weeks, Paola will bring new life into this world, a life that we are ultimately responsible for (for 18 years at least, though given my past experiences with my parents, I find it can last at least 27!!) Suddenly questions I was so sure I'd answered, emotions I was so sure I had under control are starting to bubble up inside me.
A huge part of this is likely because I feel as though I'm not facing the brunt of this wave fully braced. You see, I have a delicate, but very important support system. Unfortunately, for Heidi's grand appearance I (very likely) am going to be missing MOST of what makes me feel comfortable and confident that I can take most things in stride.
First off, Paola, while there, will not be of much use for emotional support...because I will be doing that business for her while she works her way through this miracle.
Secondly, my mom is working nights and there is a very good possibility that she wont be immediately available. (Which also scratches my brother from the slate -- my only real consolation is that eventually they both will be there for us.)
Third, Jimmicito is leaving next Wednesday for Maryland and will not be returning until August 15th...which limits the possiblity of him being with me severely...
Finally, one of my huge emotional rocks (though I seldom admit it) is all the way across the country in another state. My dad.
All that about Heidi's birth being said...there is still the subject matter of taking financial responsibility (which I apparently can't even manage for myself) for our family's sole provider.
Good grief!
I'm still happy though. Very, very happy.
Just fabricating things to worry about in my boredom and impatience, I think. =oP
Friday, July 24, 2009
It's Finally Friday!
Well Friends, Friday has finally decided to roll back around and put an end to what has been a very interesting work week for me.
My half day on Tuesday let me go to court and get my divorce finalized. This led me to be allowed to marry my beautiful wife on Thursday!
What a week.
That aside, 13 weeks ago I wrote a letter to my daughter as a mini project for a baby book that Paola was putting together. I've decided to append it to the end of this, not only to share the emotion and joy I feel for my new relationship and our new baby...but also so there will be an e-copy somewhere. /grin
*************************************************************************************
Heidi,
As articulate as daddy can sometimes be, I’m not certain that there are any words to describe the way I feel (and have felt) since we first found out that we were being blessed with a baby. I remember holding back the tears of joy when your mommy first showed me the positive pregnancy test.
As evidence of your growth becomes more apparent inside your mommy’s tummy, my excitement and anticipation continue to grow. At this point, mommy is just over halfway pregnant with you (24 weeks) but both of us are really excited to meet you and get the opportunity to help guide your way through the world.
Daddy loves you, Heidi. You already have me wrapped around your little finger. I can’t wait to meet you.
Love Always,
Daddy
My half day on Tuesday let me go to court and get my divorce finalized. This led me to be allowed to marry my beautiful wife on Thursday!
What a week.
That aside, 13 weeks ago I wrote a letter to my daughter as a mini project for a baby book that Paola was putting together. I've decided to append it to the end of this, not only to share the emotion and joy I feel for my new relationship and our new baby...but also so there will be an e-copy somewhere. /grin
*************************************************************************************
Heidi,
As articulate as daddy can sometimes be, I’m not certain that there are any words to describe the way I feel (and have felt) since we first found out that we were being blessed with a baby. I remember holding back the tears of joy when your mommy first showed me the positive pregnancy test.
As evidence of your growth becomes more apparent inside your mommy’s tummy, my excitement and anticipation continue to grow. At this point, mommy is just over halfway pregnant with you (24 weeks) but both of us are really excited to meet you and get the opportunity to help guide your way through the world.
Daddy loves you, Heidi. You already have me wrapped around your little finger. I can’t wait to meet you.
Love Always,
Daddy
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Jimmi & Paola Desrosiers
I'm very, VERY happy to announce that Paola Leon Cabezas became Paola Desrosiers today.
I'm married!!!!!!!!!!
I'm married!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Victory!
I can't help but feel as though I have returned home from a gruesome battle victorious. As I glance down to the battered shield and bloodstained blade, I begin to realize just how horrific the last few years actually was for me....
But rather than revel in the less than stellar memories of the past...I'd like to begin to rejoice the wonderful things that have come to pass in recent months and will happen in the very near future.
First off, through time, I grew courageous enough to ask Paola to come to dinner with me. The relationship blossomed (slowly -albeit) from that point on. We've had our moments...both of us have taken turns being rude to the other....but the eventual outcome was me asking her (or telling her) to marry me on December 4, 2008.
Shortly thereafter we learned that would be blessed with a baby and although (I felt) her vanity might have caused her to take some medicine to clear up a condition she was having (that subsequently would have endangered her pregnancy).... she showed the true selflessness that has come to define Paola. I have had the pleasure of meeting one other person as willing to sacrifice for their loved ones as her. (<3 Mom)
A few months later, we learned that our blessing was going to be named Heidi Alexis Desrosiers (it was a girl -- for those who couldn't read between the lines). In the time since then, I've faced quite a few internal questions regarding the impending birth of our baby. I'm happy to say that the (very fast) internal responses were always positive, "I'm ready", and "I'll kill that son of a bitch!!". (Which has shown me how ready I am to father a little girl.)
Yesterday marked the end of a long, arduous period in my life. I am now free to do what I have wanted to do for a long time: Marry Paola.
I would ask you to join me in celebration...but I didn't wait for you....and now my liver is letting me know how wrong that was.
=o)
But rather than revel in the less than stellar memories of the past...I'd like to begin to rejoice the wonderful things that have come to pass in recent months and will happen in the very near future.
First off, through time, I grew courageous enough to ask Paola to come to dinner with me. The relationship blossomed (slowly -albeit) from that point on. We've had our moments...both of us have taken turns being rude to the other....but the eventual outcome was me asking her (or telling her) to marry me on December 4, 2008.
Shortly thereafter we learned that would be blessed with a baby and although (I felt) her vanity might have caused her to take some medicine to clear up a condition she was having (that subsequently would have endangered her pregnancy).... she showed the true selflessness that has come to define Paola. I have had the pleasure of meeting one other person as willing to sacrifice for their loved ones as her. (<3 Mom)
A few months later, we learned that our blessing was going to be named Heidi Alexis Desrosiers (it was a girl -- for those who couldn't read between the lines). In the time since then, I've faced quite a few internal questions regarding the impending birth of our baby. I'm happy to say that the (very fast) internal responses were always positive, "I'm ready", and "I'll kill that son of a bitch!!". (Which has shown me how ready I am to father a little girl.)
Yesterday marked the end of a long, arduous period in my life. I am now free to do what I have wanted to do for a long time: Marry Paola.
I would ask you to join me in celebration...but I didn't wait for you....and now my liver is letting me know how wrong that was.
=o)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Preparing for Battle
Some are aware that today I will be going to court to "take status".
What that means for me immediately...I don't really know.......what it ultimately means: I will be single and free to remarry Paola.
I don't really know what the timeframe for that is, but based on how long Jamie has stalled with the settlement agreement...it would definitely take longer to wait for the paperwork to be submitted.
We have waited far, far too long for this opportunity. I originally filed for divorce in October of last year. I had hoped that after the 6 month & 1 day waiting period, we could finalize it...but Jamie is not paying her own lawyer bill (her parents are) and elected to continue the case out further in her efforts to gain (some sort of) victory by ensuring I couldn't marry Heidi's mom before she was born.
This morning she made a comment about how she was discontent that my lawyer had changed some of the wording to the MSA that she'd written. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know wtf kind of person thinks they have the right in any situation to decide what is fair for both parties and that they ultimately will decide what is written in an MSA. Isn't that the entire reason for court and lawyers? She didn't honestly think I was pouring thousands of dollars into a lawyer so that I could take what she says (verbatim) and sign it?
Lawl. Just....................lawl.
All that mental retardation aside....
Jimmicito came home with an awful rash on his face and chest. After a couple rounds of Cortaid 10 and some Children's Benadryl it seems to have subsided a little bit. He still has some remenants of it, and I'm not entirely sure what caused it.
My very (very) limited knowledge of rash symptoms leads me to believe that it may have been a form of heat rash, because it was kind of hot to the touch. It has also been unusually warm for SoCal the last week or two.
One of the very nice things that my divorce and engagement has brought me is a closeness with Jimmi that allows him to speak with me very freely. We talk often about the way he is feeling, the things he wants to do, and the things he wants from me. As I said yesterday, I feel like these conversations help me to prepare for obstacles that I will someday face down the road.
As I sit here now, it is my belief that Jimmicito will never excel in school. I don't feel like it's because of a lack of intelligence, he is very smart! Jimmi, however, already seems to have been bitten by the same bug that I was bitten by in school. He doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it, it doesn't seem fun to him, he retains alot of what he learns, but he only seems to want to do what is required of him even though he is capable of far more. Man, that sounds familiar. Karma has come full circle to bite me in the ass on that one.
Also, I've noted that while his artistic ability is...."sub-par"....he (like me) takes a great deal of pride in every thing creative that he does. Every EXTREMELY busy piece of art work tells a story that he does not forget and when he does something he does NOT like to be criticized about it or have someone else change it.
That really hurts his feelings.
Lately we've been spending alot of time together playing video games and just wrestling around. I'm pretty confident that he's going to be an amazing big brother ....so he'll be reprising his role in Fatherhood I and Marriage I in their respective sequels. =o)
***KELENYA UPDATE***
The latest trophy pictures from Naxx are up on the Requiem of Decay Guild Portal page! Enjoy!
What that means for me immediately...I don't really know.......what it ultimately means: I will be single and free to remarry Paola.
I don't really know what the timeframe for that is, but based on how long Jamie has stalled with the settlement agreement...it would definitely take longer to wait for the paperwork to be submitted.
We have waited far, far too long for this opportunity. I originally filed for divorce in October of last year. I had hoped that after the 6 month & 1 day waiting period, we could finalize it...but Jamie is not paying her own lawyer bill (her parents are) and elected to continue the case out further in her efforts to gain (some sort of) victory by ensuring I couldn't marry Heidi's mom before she was born.
This morning she made a comment about how she was discontent that my lawyer had changed some of the wording to the MSA that she'd written. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know wtf kind of person thinks they have the right in any situation to decide what is fair for both parties and that they ultimately will decide what is written in an MSA. Isn't that the entire reason for court and lawyers? She didn't honestly think I was pouring thousands of dollars into a lawyer so that I could take what she says (verbatim) and sign it?
Lawl. Just....................lawl.
All that mental retardation aside....
Jimmicito came home with an awful rash on his face and chest. After a couple rounds of Cortaid 10 and some Children's Benadryl it seems to have subsided a little bit. He still has some remenants of it, and I'm not entirely sure what caused it.
My very (very) limited knowledge of rash symptoms leads me to believe that it may have been a form of heat rash, because it was kind of hot to the touch. It has also been unusually warm for SoCal the last week or two.
One of the very nice things that my divorce and engagement has brought me is a closeness with Jimmi that allows him to speak with me very freely. We talk often about the way he is feeling, the things he wants to do, and the things he wants from me. As I said yesterday, I feel like these conversations help me to prepare for obstacles that I will someday face down the road.
As I sit here now, it is my belief that Jimmicito will never excel in school. I don't feel like it's because of a lack of intelligence, he is very smart! Jimmi, however, already seems to have been bitten by the same bug that I was bitten by in school. He doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it, it doesn't seem fun to him, he retains alot of what he learns, but he only seems to want to do what is required of him even though he is capable of far more. Man, that sounds familiar. Karma has come full circle to bite me in the ass on that one.
Also, I've noted that while his artistic ability is...."sub-par"....he (like me) takes a great deal of pride in every thing creative that he does. Every EXTREMELY busy piece of art work tells a story that he does not forget and when he does something he does NOT like to be criticized about it or have someone else change it.
That really hurts his feelings.
Lately we've been spending alot of time together playing video games and just wrestling around. I'm pretty confident that he's going to be an amazing big brother ....so he'll be reprising his role in Fatherhood I and Marriage I in their respective sequels. =o)
***KELENYA UPDATE***
The latest trophy pictures from Naxx are up on the Requiem of Decay Guild Portal page! Enjoy!
Monday, July 20, 2009
It Starts
Hopefully, as time goes by, many of my friends from MySpace and Facebook will find their way over to this new blog.
I feel the necessity to write. Not out of urge or emotion as I did in the past during my frustrating endeavors with marriage, but rather as a way of continuing to stimulate my mind and record my thoughts and feelings as I work on playing out the newest chapters in my life. (Fatherhood Part II & Marriage Part II)
In a little less than a day I will attend court to help Marriage Part I come to an end. Fortunately, (for me) I was lucky enough to find a co-producer that I get along with quite well to help me film Marriage Part II.
She also agreed to help me do Fatherhood II.
So ya...things are looking up from here. There are hurdles to jump and mountains to climb, but now that the uncertainty is behind me, I'm (mostly) aware of the obstacles I face. I feel like that gives me a much better sense of preparation and that I might actually get a chance to plan for some of these.
Obviously, it is to be expected that the filming of Fatherhood II will be spontaneous (at best) but I look forward to it with great anticipation and actually have found myself growing a little impatient as we wait to shoot it.
***KELENYA UPDATE***
My guild rocks.
That's all really.
I feel the necessity to write. Not out of urge or emotion as I did in the past during my frustrating endeavors with marriage, but rather as a way of continuing to stimulate my mind and record my thoughts and feelings as I work on playing out the newest chapters in my life. (Fatherhood Part II & Marriage Part II)
In a little less than a day I will attend court to help Marriage Part I come to an end. Fortunately, (for me) I was lucky enough to find a co-producer that I get along with quite well to help me film Marriage Part II.
She also agreed to help me do Fatherhood II.
So ya...things are looking up from here. There are hurdles to jump and mountains to climb, but now that the uncertainty is behind me, I'm (mostly) aware of the obstacles I face. I feel like that gives me a much better sense of preparation and that I might actually get a chance to plan for some of these.
Obviously, it is to be expected that the filming of Fatherhood II will be spontaneous (at best) but I look forward to it with great anticipation and actually have found myself growing a little impatient as we wait to shoot it.
***KELENYA UPDATE***
My guild rocks.
That's all really.
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