It's Coming...

(I should precede all of this by saying this is probably a pretty typical thought process for someone in my position and nothing to worry too much about.)


Over the last 10 months or so, I've been highly aware of the tsunami building on the horizon. Thanks to the recent exploits of Jimmi III (getting married, etc.) there has been some light shed on just how ridiculously huge that wave is.

(I assume this is a normal fear...) In about two weeks, Paola will bring new life into this world, a life that we are ultimately responsible for (for 18 years at least, though given my past experiences with my parents, I find it can last at least 27!!) Suddenly questions I was so sure I'd answered, emotions I was so sure I had under control are starting to bubble up inside me.

A huge part of this is likely because I feel as though I'm not facing the brunt of this wave fully braced. You see, I have a delicate, but very important support system. Unfortunately, for Heidi's grand appearance I (very likely) am going to be missing MOST of what makes me feel comfortable and confident that I can take most things in stride.

First off, Paola, while there, will not be of much use for emotional support...because I will be doing that business for her while she works her way through this miracle.

Secondly, my mom is working nights and there is a very good possibility that she wont be immediately available. (Which also scratches my brother from the slate -- my only real consolation is that eventually they both will be there for us.)

Third, Jimmicito is leaving next Wednesday for Maryland and will not be returning until August 15th...which limits the possiblity of him being with me severely...

Finally, one of my huge emotional rocks (though I seldom admit it) is all the way across the country in another state. My dad.

All that about Heidi's birth being said...there is still the subject matter of taking financial responsibility (which I apparently can't even manage for myself) for our family's sole provider.

Good grief!

I'm still happy though. Very, very happy.

Just fabricating things to worry about in my boredom and impatience, I think. =oP