MmmMMmmMMm

Succulent breasts,
Mouth-watering thighs,
Exclusive to me,
Not all other guys,
I will not share,
It belongs to me,
Nom ‘til it’s gone,
This chicken wasn’t free…

Crazt Cat Lady (Inspired by Rhiannon Walsh)

The day was bleak,
The son was hot,
We all relaxed,
But she did not,
A hundred cats,
Mouths to feed,
Companionship,
Her constant need,
But they were hungry,
They nommed her head,
Now Crazy Cat lady,
Lies here dead.

Intro

Get ready now,
We’re about to go,
A journey, a vision,
An epic show,
Rhymes to giggle,
Poems to laugh,
Tales of bears,
And a laser shooting giraffe,
Come inside,
See what you find,
In the corners of my twisted mind…

The Battle For Ultimate Supremacy

There had been rumblings and rumors. We knew this was coming. Before the year ended there was going to be one champion...one superior being to take their place above everyone else.

I thought that I was stronger.

I thought it would be me.

I thought I'd be lifted onto that pedestal.

I was wrong. I lost. I was bested.

It happened less than a half hour ago. Innocently enough, I was making breakfast. I had just settled down to eat it when the s*** hit (c wut i did thar?! :P) the fan. I had barely managed to choke down my first bite of eggs and toast when the sound came. A roar...a guttural beast-like roar.

I never even had time to prepare myself.

The first pillow shot straight for my head like a bullet out of a gun. I barely had enough time to get the fork out of my mouth and dodge it. I stumbled across the living room to find a weapon of my own, but she was too fast for me. With another roar of delight (probably because she'd already foreseen her victory) Heidi slammed me onto the couch. The pillow blows rained down like a monsoon. I dodged left and right. Her stamina was unwavering. Eventually, I managed to arm myself with my own pillow...but she was too nimble to land any significant shots.

As I lay in a crumpled heap on my living room floor, she giggled with joy and laughed at me.....

Ladies and Gentleman...your Pillow Fight Champion of 2011 ---- Heidi Alexis Desrosiers

It's The Most Wonderful Time....

That's right! 'Tis the season again!

The season where we watch all the unhappy people get even unhappier.

The season where we watch all the happy people get happier. (What a tick.......is happier even a word? Remind me to look that one up.)

The time of year where both the rich and the poor find themselves (monetarily) poorer. (That's probably another one to look up..)

Regardless of what your situation is, Christmas is upon us. Enjoy yourselves, you bloody fools. Let yourself be merry. Regardless of what your beliefs tell you "the reason for the season" is....embrace this chance to be with the ones you love and let your love pour forth so that no one will have any question. :)

Sound like a hippy? K...take this too:

When Christmas is over...I challenge you to keep it up. There is no room for anger and hate. We are all in this together. Let's do this thing!

Anger

Yesterday evening I stopped in at Mother Earth Brewing Co. for a couple of beers. My good friend and neighbor Tony Chahal was there. I hadn't touched base with him for a few weeks before my trek across Vista and I've deactivated my Facebook account so I haven't really had any interaction since then.

We talked about how my novel writing went. I had to explain to him that I've set it aside for now. (It actually turns out somewhat better because my next online course is Composition 155) He inquired about a few tweets I posted shortly before shut down Facebook and I told him about some explained some of it to him. (Hilarity of me using a Welcome mat as a blanket omitted.)

At the end of my tale he offered me some of the most intriguing insight I've ever been given. It's something that's been on my mind all night and morning (so much so that I thought I'd blog about it.)

"Anger is a virus, man."

The more I've thought on this, the more I've realized that it's true. In trying to disprove this statement, I let my mind stray to the Animal Kingdom. I tried to pin-point examples I would consider "anger". Sure, animals don't all live in harmony with one another. They fight, they kill each other, they ostracize other creatures in the family.......but could this really be considered anger?

My favorite animal will always be the Whitetail Deer (because I've learned so much about them through research and personal observation) so I went that way first. The males fight, but it's always a territorial thing or about mating. Maybe this wasn't the best answer, but a buck's reasons for fighting or being aggressive explained away a lot in the Animal Kingdom. Many other species display the same behaviors.

I thought about it for a while and imagined the example of a panther stalking its prey. Right before the beast is about to pounce, another panther leaps on the creature and proceeds to kill it. The panther hangs around a bit, but the other panther hisses at it and it leaves to find another opportunity.

I tried thought about a recent experience I had on Black Friday at Walmart to relate this example to. That evening the parking lot was a madhouse. I witnessed several people who were waiting for a parking spot only to have another person whip right in and take it. I even had the displeasure of watching a rather violent confrontation over the matter. This wasn't the only spat about it. The panthers may find themselves "coming to blows" but their motivation is still primal (FOOD). What is the humans motivation? Why were people so upset with each other about this? Why were they upset enough to hurt each other or spend precious time getting into arguments over it?

I thought about my wife and her demeanor. Did her parents get mad? Of course...what parent doesn't? They never let their anger spill over into shouting/screaming. I've been with Paola for over 3 years now. I've never heard her raise her voice during an argument (except to possibly drown me out when I was yelling like a fool.) She snaps at our daughter, she's scolded Jimmi, but never with the roar that I let out from time to time.

Tony is right. She is not infected. She wasn't exposed to the virus.

Angry people have the same underlying issues that we all have. They are not special, but the infection feeds itself off those issues and grows within them. Often times a person has been infected so long they don't even know what the original issue the virus clung to was. It finds it and it works to help create more until a soul is lost.

When I was in the military, I spent my life surrounded by people who hated their jobs and the structure associated with that profession made it possible for the people who outranked me to openly display the anger they had inside. Never have I seen so many people who "hated" their supervisors. I went from place to place in the military and witnessed this in many of them. The virus had spread. It was in each of us looking for a reason to expose itself to other people.

I'm not sure if it is the cure for the virus yet or not, but it gradually has been subsiding since I remarried and moved to an environment where I was the only angry person. It got to a point where it was embarrassing to me when I reacted that way. My wife doesn't respond. She doesn't understand that blind rage. It made me think about better ways to respond to situations so that I could relate more to her. We have arguments (what married couple doesn't?) but we've found more constructive and useful ways to settle those.

My goal in life is not to infect my children with the virus I carry. I do not want my kids to ever think that it's okay to display that behavior. I want them to always follow the example my wife has set for me. I want them to be like she is. I want my kids to be able to resolve a conflict in a calm manner and I hope that their character will be as infectious as my wife's was on me.

OMGWTFKTHX

*** THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED, THE FREE PREVIEW IS OVER! ***

AIE

From Orgimmar,
To Thunderbluff,
Across the Great and Veiled Sea,
From Undercity,
To Silvermoon,
To every group in LFG.

With bloodied blades,
And dented sheilds,
As the dragon's breathes its last,
We smile as we say to you,
"The die, my friend's, been cast."

Twas The Night Before Jimmi's Christmas

This was hiding around on my Facebook Notes. I know it's out of season, but enjoy it anyways!!!

******************
T'was the night before Christmas,
I logged onto WoW,
Crunched in a random,
But didn't know how.

The wife was all dressed,
And ready to go,
But my axe was enchanted,
And starting to glow.

I slice n diced quickly,
And mashed on my 1,
DPS faster,
This has to get done.

I need the Frost Emblems,
I want the new gear,
But the healer pulled aggro,
We're wiping I fear.

When just as I died,
I got a big heal,
The druid was soulstoned,
This win can be real.

I blew every cooldown,
Feinted once,(maybe twice),
Looked down at my Recount,
My DPS was nice.

The boss had dropped quickly,
We'd finished the fight,
"Pass on the shards, y'all"
"Thx for the group guys, good night!"

Pearls Compilation

Below is a compilation of every "Weekly Pearl of Wisdom" blog from my old MySpace blog. These are as much for me as they are for anyone else.

At some point during the time I was separated, I realized how much funny stuff was said by people and how meaningful alot of it was. Every Pearl is NOT funny, and many of them are unfunny unless you were there to hear the entire conversation.

***DISCLAIMER***
****************
This was written over the course of 2008 into early 2009. According to Windows - It is 2011. The likelyhood of me remembering the circumstances behind ANY of these quotes is VERY slim, so please don't ask -- because unless I instantly remember, I've resolved to not remember....it makes it more fun to read.

Also, if at any point during the period of time that this ran, you said something (anything) that could have been taken out of context or deemed funny -- your name is probably in here. I didn't take the time to adjust names -- and I'm not going to (checked on the legality of this). There should be no reason. In fact, the majority of the incriminating things that were said were said by me...

Finally, if you're reading this for the first time or have been out of touch with me enough to not understand my personality -- you have to realize that much of what was said was in jest or simply because it was considered completely random.

Try to enjoy this randomness at face-value.

Thanks,
Management
***DISCLAIMER***
****************

Weekly Pearls Compilation
*************************************************
Charmaine: she then claimed the guy was GAY.
Jimmi: Butt sex is butt sex. I'm sure he didn't care.
*
Jimmi: Some people are whores
*
Jimmi: You know what I'd do if that were me? I'd hit his car. Mirrors are cheap.
*
Jimmi: Lavamanos? You call it a fucking hand wash?
*
Jimmi: Sarcastic people just help stupid people realize how stupid they are.
*
Jimmi: Frost Mages are hax.
*
Jimmi: His machine isn't running slow because of his RAM. That's an amatuer trying to tell a pro the problem. It runs slow because Lotus Notes really, really, really fucking sucks.
*
(Holding a stick of RAM)Jimmi: This is what happens when computers have unprotected sex.
*
Jon: You're the face of the IS department.
Jimmi: Could they have picked someone a little less....rude?
*
Thomas: They don't buy and sell with money in Nebraska....they like barter.
Jimmi: With corn and cows?
Thomas: "I'll give you three heads of oxen"
Jimmi: Ha!
Thomas: And I mean one three headed ox...not three heads.
*
Cameron: You know, Lucas doesn't taste the same.
Jimmi: Ya. It tastes like dirty sugar...........dirty beaner sugar.
*
Jimmi: What is this thing with putting your sunglasses on the back of your neck. It looks stupid. Why don't you just kick yourself in the face....it's easier.
*
Jimmi: Next thing you know, you've got Hakmed rollin' through the desert with his camel cut off at the knees. Oh ya!
*
Thomas: Jim, when you get divorced are you going to be like, "All I want is the iPod"?
*
Jimmi: It may not happen EXACTLY how I am envisioning it will...but it's possible?
*
TP: Sure as the rooster flies.
Jimmi: Roosters fly? You sure?
TP: ...crows.....
*
Jimmi: Get ready, this is going to suck.
*
Jimmi: If I die, don't tell my wife anything....I don't want that bitch to try to take my son. *laugh*
*
Jimmi: How high is this? Do you think I can juuuuuUUuUUuuUUm*UF* Yep. Guess so......

*
Sergio: I don’t remember the name or beat of the song, but it sounded just like this other song I don’t remember
*
Thomas: Warning: Sodomy may happen.
*
(Call the San Diego Juror Office) "To continue in English, press 1......"
*
Deanne: ***REAL PEARL OF WISDOM*** Stop calling her! Don’t talk to her except about your son.
*
Jimmi: Paying bills is important.....
Ronnie: Apparently the corp. office didn’t think so...
*

Thomas: Oh yeah, African Handball!
*
Jimmi: Hello? That was rude...I’m walking, you’re running...Couldn’t you get in the bike lane? I’m more intelligent here!
*
Jamie: I have to pay 450 dollars for my car because the roters weren’t spun last time the brakes were done.
Jimmi: All those blowjobs for cheap service, and they couldn’t even spin your roters? Sheesh, you must suck. No pun intended.
*
Jamie: You don’t even have a six pack...
Jimmi: That’s kind of an unrealistic expectation.
*
Thomas: ...Unless you’re fat...
Jimmi: There’s nothing wrong w/ being fat! Dammit! Unless you’re a chick......
*
Steve: How’d it taste?
Jimmi: Just like a normal cigarette, but cheaper.
(About clove cigarettes)
*
Jimmi: I think that guy is Jewish.
Thomas: Really?
Jimmi: Ya, he has curly hair....
*
Jimmi: Our phone company sucks ass...
*
Ann Marie: Jim, do you know......
Jimmi: I actually don’t know anything anymore. I forgot it all. Bye.
*
Thomas: Here’s a wet paper bag, sing your way out of it.
Jimmi: ....and then my head explodes.
*
This is one of my favorite this week! Thanks, B-Diddy!
Jimmi: First off, I love you, Brandy.
Brandy: Why? What? I love you too. What did I do?!
*
Jimmi: It’s not so much about the chase, it’s about the kill. The loud, bloody, violent kill. No man actually cares for the chase.
*
Jimmi: (about wives) It’d be nice if you could return ’em and be like, "I broked it."
*
Jimmi: I’d gladly let Jamie cut my head off with it. Just so I could say I got murdered by FROSTMOURNE. Not sure who I’d say that too though. (gurgle, gurgle)
*
Dad: He just hacked their heads off when he found out they were pregnant.
Jimmi: King Louey....that guy had, like, the most fertile nut in the world....
*
Ryan: Do they think it’s cool to have a little kid at the beginning of their song? Where are all these kids coming from?!
*
Ryan: That’s a bunch of platypus shit!
*
Jimmi: Captain Planet, he’s the hero, he has a green mullet....it is uuuuuuugly!
*
Thomas: I think that faggot kid w/ the weak power lost his ring once so Captain Planet lost his powers. He was like normal...
Jimmi: Was his mullet still green?
Thomas: Ya he still just looked like a freak, he just couldn’t fly and stuff....
*
Jimmi: Hi! I’m Ross Perot...I’ll eat your babies!
*
Jimmi (me): If you don’t eat...I’m gunna beat you, then throw you in the pool, watch you drown, then throw a toaster in!
Jimmi (Little Mac): I don’t want you to kill me!
Cameron: Where are you gunna get a toaster???
*
Little Mac: *gag**gag* (Spits up hardboiled egg)
Jayden: That looks like throw up.....
Little Mac: Jayden it is throw up!
*
Thomas: Thanks for installing Excel...I’m gunna go install OpenOffice now.
Jimmi: Why don’t you cut your face off instead?? .....with a hot spoon.
*
Narrator: The future is here, and it’s not an iPhone..........it’s a big ass table.
*
Jimmi: I’ll bet you’d rather heat a fork up on the stove and stab yourself in the face....
*
Thomas: We’re going to have to do surgery....
Jimmi: I’ll get the jumper cables...
*
Jimmi: Hi there! It’s me...from the 21st century....you should come on over sometime....
*
Cameron: What are you trying to get a NEGATIVE score? *pause* Wow, you’re fucking gay....
*
Charmaine: I am going to start my own homeade soap business.


Jimmi: You should sell drugs!!!
*
Little Mac: What about my mom?
Jimmi: I hate your mom.
Little Mac: No you don’t, you love her.
Jimmi: Ya, that too.
Little Mac: Wait, wait....so you hate her and you love her?
Jimmi: Ya. It’s complicated....
*
Dad: *faaaaart*
Jimmi: Dude, I thought you shit yourself!
*
Thomas: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Jimmi: A woodchuck could chuck.......fuck........I dunno.
*
Kelenya: Hey Scro...where’s Tum?
Scro: Right here in the room with me!
Kelenya: Your powers combined...
Scro: Captain Planet!11
Kelenya: I was going to say Captain Ballsack.....
*
(Talking to left leg) Jimmi: HEY FUCKER! COME ON!!!!!
*
Jimmi: User removable? The average user is going to remove this part the same way the average patient would remove his own tonsils...
*
Jimmi: It tasted like someone shit in a can, then pissed in it and sold it....
Thomas: You should be a food critic.

*
Thomas: I forgot what I was going to say.
Jimmi: Did it have to do with Mary Poppins?
Thomas: No.....
Jimmi: Nuts!
*
Dad: ...Jimmi's twenty something and still doesn't know what it is.
Jimmi: What?
Dad: The difference between a washer and dryer.
Jimmi: Hopefully I'll make it to 40 something and not figure it out!
*
Jimmi: Jamie are you drunk?
Jamie: No, Ith dust had one dwink. It wasth kinda strong dough.
Jimmi: You're drunk. Asshole.
*
Jimmi: Jimmi! Knock it the fuck off ya tard!
*
Little Mac: (crying) I hate my birthday on the 32nd of Octember!
*
Jimmi: Do ya wanna call me a dickhead? Tell me I'm a dickhead...
Little Mac: You're an asshole.
*
Jimmi: Pokemon fucking rules! And anyone who thinks otherwise is a donkey raping shit eater!
*
Jimmi: I got a flying mount this weekend!
Jaclyn: No one knows what that means.......
*
Jimmi: Don't come in my cube, my grandma fed me beans yesterday...
*
Jimmi: Go die. No seriously. Go somewhere and fucking die. I hate you!
*
Thomas: Tail whip is hacks!
Jimmi: So is fucking Deathcoil.............Christ.
*
Brandy: He's a dick! (nods)
*
Jimmi: That's like a crate of food being delivered to the Donner part a day late..
*
Ashley: How do you know so much about sparrows???
*
Cameron: The flag....
Gee: The star spangled banner??
Jimmi: Ya, you haven't heard that song?
*
Gee: Yup! It's a nut! Like me....
*
Sil: I've never seen a single Star Wars movie.
Jimmi: WHAT?!!! This is like.....life, man!
*
Gee: WHO beat you in Trivial Pursuit?
Jimmi: Cameron...
Gee: And WHO?
Jimmi: You didn't beat us so much as we lost it for ourselves!
*
Sil: And what is the definition of craptastic?
Gee: Fantasticly crappy!
*
Cameron: That's pretty good, considering I was like 7 when this game was over.
*
Jimmi: Apology accepted, Captain Needer.
Sil: How did you know that?!
Cameron: We've seen this before...
*
Gee: Salmon is real brain food.
Sil: Ya, it has alot of omega-3 in it.
Cameron: Whatever the hell that is.
*
Gee: Did you figure out what those blocks spelled?
Jimmi: Ya! I told you I loved you too.......
Gee: Oh I missed it.
Jimmi: That's too bad, it was a special moment!
*
Jimmi: Sometimes you just say things that I would..
Sil: She's fucked up!
Jimmi: Random!
*
Gee: You're gunna tell me I don't have any memory...
Jimmi: That wasn't the first thing that came to mind....it was Windows Vista SUCKS!
*
Cameron: He says they don't carry Gameboy Advance anymore...I don't know what this is.....(stares at a GBA game)
*
Jimmi: Bikinis! Oooo...sexy!
*
Jimmi: It's not pink! It's light red!!!
*
Jimmi: Not that kind of head!!!! The blowjob kind.....
*
Cameron: Wrong. Drew Barrymore
Jimmi: Drew Barrymore! That sushi eating ho!
*
Dad: I have to poop.
*
Charmaine: My chest hurts
Jimmi: Maybe your boobs are growing.
Charmaine: No.
Jimmi: Damn.........
*
Angela: You're gunna hate me. He didn't have anything on his schedule today.
Jimmi: Wow, thanks! I do hate you.
*
Dell=Very Yes
*
Jimmi: I wish I could say I'm not attracted to her....so I'll just say I wish I could screw her.....
*
Rachel: I wish I could shave my head.
Jimmi: Then what would your husband pull?
*
Thomas: Volvo Sationwagons....will that thing ever go away.
Jimmi: Not so long as there is country music apparently!
*
Bloodthirst: ROGUES can dual wield....but rouge is just a shade of red....
*
Jimmi: Actually I'm probably not so interested in that....people who give it up....
Lindsey: For crack?
Jimmi: For anything....
Lindsey: Crack????
*
(By suggestion of Brandy who is quite possibly the coolest chick ever invented.)
Jimmi: Goddamn motherfucking son a bitch piece of shit! Fuck......
*
Charmaine: I'll stick with my handful and mouthful size boobies
*
Kelenya: You there! With the face! Can I have some pie?
*
Wykid: I don't trust you Kele....you're a dude in real life.
Kelenya: Watch out there's a boar behind you....(kills him)
*
Phalkor: Do I have AIDS?
Kelenya: No...you're just an idiot, dude.
*
(Another I'd like to share just because it made me feel good!)
Jimmi: You're freakin' awesome, do you know that?
Brandy: You are too.
*
Kelenya: Where can I buy 2 chickens and 55 feet of surgical tube? Not IRL...
*
Angela: I was going to where a grass skirt...but it was in the dry cleaners..
*
Jimmi: You fail at religion! You're going to hell. Pack tanktops........
*
Gee: I have three articles of clothing you may be interested in.
Jimmi: It's like going to Walmart.
Gee: No, it's not THAT exciting.
*
Gee: Then we can agree to disagree...
Jimmi: No...we can agree that I'm going to continue thinking the right thing and you'll be very sadly confused and incorrect.
*
Teeny: I like chocolate!
Jimmi: You do? Why?
Teeny: Cuz it's brown!
*
Jimmi: Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Fail miserably at being worth two craps.
*
Jimmi: I hate you. I really do. Go away and never come back, please.
*
Jimmi: Not when I'm president of the world!
*
Jason: What are you in confession?
Jimmi: Ya! Bless me Father for I have sinned. I married a fucking retard.
*
Jimmi: Maybe the grin stems from a sense of relief!
*
Thomas: Do you really think you can do that?
Jimmi: Ya....all I need is a distraction. Do you have any bubble gum and paint thinner?????
*
Jimmi: Alot can happen in 9 months....I could be a parapeligic!
Lindsey: Don't be so negative.
Jimmi: I didn't mean that negatively.
Charmaine: So you're excited to be a parapelegic?
Jimmi: Ya! I can't wait to learn to roll with my face!
*
Charmaine: I don't ask ANYTHING of you.
Jimmi: You should always ask your friends to love you unconditionally.
Charmaine: Love me unconditionally.............please.
Jimmi: K!
*
Jimmi: Soylent Green is peepee!!!!
*
Gee: Can I abuse you?
Jimmi: You can abuse me as much as you fricken like!!
*
Jimmi: I prefer to overestimate people, it gives me something to be disappointed about.
*
Jimmi: You called the lady and she said that?!
Monique: No....that's just what I told her. She's retarded.
*
Jimmi: When will we ever start having conversations the rest of the world can understand?
Tom: Probably never. We are kinda cliquey.
*
Tom: How do you predict it will happen? What's your prediction?
Jimmi: *gruff* PAAAAIN!
*
Nikki: They're like, "Use the new logo, damnit!"
Jimmi: "Or we'll cut off your face!"
*
Jimmi: Brandy, you're my human...
*
Gee: You fail at life and everything involved with it.
*
Gee: I am the BEST at failure.
*
Gee: Games are meant to be pixelated.
*
Jimmi: You're Korean dad...
*
Jimmi: This is just a game, it's not real. Video games are real.
*
Shelina: You're my pink candy, Maggie.
*
Jimmi: I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Opening lockboxes on the bank,
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Searching for a tank.
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Selling off my loot,
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Learning how to shoot,
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Turning in a quest,
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
Listening to why Chuck Norris is the best.
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
But instead I am stuck here,
I'd rather be in Orgrimmar,
But I need money for beer!!!!!!!
*
Jason: Whoever decided you could type with a pen was a jerkass!
*
Jimmi IV: Dad, what's peace mean?
Jimmi: It's something hippies do...I think.
*
Jimmi: We'll have 24 wings, 24 sticks, a large Barbecue Chicken Pizza, and 3 drinks.
Waitress: Wow. Are you guys going to eat all that??
Jimmi: Lady, I haven't eaten in two days!!!
*
Brandy: Oh, you don't have to give me one...I have one right here!
Jimmi: Brandy!! Then why are we even going through this exercise?
Brandy: I don't know...nice talkin' to ya!!
Jimmi: Likewise!
*
Jimmi: Oh dear...did that really just happen?
Branden: Ya....haha...
Jimmi: That's fucking poopsock.
*
Jimmi: You can throw the tard to the wind. I'm down with that.
*
Janette: Give me warning before you come over next time, I might have farted!
*
Jimmi: That phone makes me want to bludgeon infants to death with a spoon.....
*
Jimmi: We're actually a secret organization, we don't like to advertise.
Mandy: Do you wear faces? You know, disguises like Scooby Doo?
Jimmi: Ya. We're actually huge black guys!! We're HUGE!
*
Sam: He wont just let me break up with him.
Jimmi: Want me to set him on fire?
*
Holly: If you want something, you have to order it. Right, Jim?
Jimmi: Yup, that's how I'm getting my new wife!
*
Miguel: Face it, Jim. You had a good run, it's time to try something else.
Jimmi: I'm going to sell crack....
Miguel: The world is in need of more crack dealers.
Jimmi: Obviously! I'm sitting here crackless!
*
Jimmi: The best way to commit suicide slowly is to live 'til you're 100. Like my mother in law!
*
Amanda: ITYF me under my desk.....
Jimmi: Nice! Can I come? I'll behave.......mostly.........
*
Charmaine: I need alot of things....
Jimmi: Drugs? Alcohol? Maybe you need protein...I can provide that.
*
Jimmi: "I play a Cleric..." now hand me the fried baby!
Thomas: Fried baby, duga wooshka...ha ha ha..........
*
Jimmi: I suck at I.T.!!!!!!!!!!!!
*
Brandy: Ya, it's a client...I have two of them I think.
Jimmi: She's got NADS!
*
Charmaine: I'm sorry but I don't come second to video games. Not happening.
Jimmi: Charmaine!
Charmaine: Jimmi....
Jimmi: You are a great person....and a good gal....but you have to understand the sheer IMPORTANCE of video games!!!!
*
Jimmi: I'm not defending him or his actions AT ALL. I'm defending video games...
*
Jimmi: ........sapped girls can't say no.............
*
Romina: You lose alot of things when you have a baby.
Jimmi: Ya, including your GODDAMNED MIND.
*
Jimmi: Hey....go fuck yourself asstard!
*
Jimmi: My dad once had a Geo Metro w/ no AC or radio!
Tom: Woah...they still made cars like that?!
*
Jimmi: No, you can't. How about that retard?
*
Jimmi: If you weren't such a basket case, I'd consider sleeping with you.
*
Jason: I think I'm going to puke.
*
Jimmi: Fuck. It's dead man. It's just dead........
*
Jimmi: Sir Thomas!
Tom: Ooo...I've been promoted, now I'm a sir!
Jimmi: No, you've actually been deported.
*
Romina:...I'll be puking my brains out.
Jimmi: What good are brains anyways? They only get in the way.
*
Mandy: I don't know the science of it all, but you could eat the pie! ;o)
*
Jimmi: I'm sorry dude, can you transfer me to someone else? Maybe someone w/ a hispanic accent instead
*
Jimmi: Just close your eyes and open your mouth, it's gunna be awesome

Wayward Thoughts...

So, I've had something weighing rather heavy on my mind lately after someone made a comment to me....so let me come clean:

When I wake up, my legs involuntarily tremble violently. So much so that it's a chore to walk. I force myself onto my feet because the convulsions are caused by faulty "electrical wiring" and reflexes. That's a better picture -- it's not so much trembling as bouncing or "thumping" (as it's affectionately called in my house)

So, I slide over the side of my bed onto my feet. Left leg first...even though I sleep on the right side of the bed. Why? Because my right leg has been numb for 7 months. My right foot might as well not even exist anymore -- I stopped being able to feel it at all over a year ago.

I shuffle to the bathroom, because bending my right knee tends to send a jolt of pins and needle through the entire leg up into my spine.......and while I'll eventually start doing this for the rest of the day -- first thing after I wake up I'm not ready to start that inquisition.

My eyes haven't focused. I try to make them, every morning, but they never do, nor will they. The vision I had as a youngster will never return to me.

If I took my shot last night, my head is screaming. I'm dizzy from the pounding and the fact that my right leg and foot are completely gimp are not helping. It's less of a shuffle and more of a stagger at this point.

Let's fast-forward to the commute:

Remember that dead foot? Boy, it sure is a nifty thing to learn how to drive with a foot that you can't even FEEL when trying to determine the appropriate amount of pressure to put on the pedals. Remember that whole vision thing?? Well, turns out that seeing distances is fine.....it's the peripheral vision being completely absent anymore that makes it seem like things aren't coming into focus. I guess I'll get in the right lane and putz along. Safe enough, and actually my preferred method of driving, so that's no big change anyhow...God help me if I have to get into the left lane though, I have to turn my entire head (not safe) to change lanes.

By the time I get to work, I feel like I've been awake for 12 hours. My energy is entirely sapped. NOT TIRED -- mind you -- weak and fatigued, rather. Standing, sitting, walking...it's all becoming more and more of a chore. I sometimes get the crazy notion that I'll ration what little physical energy I have left -- but my office can't tolerate that. Things need to be done. Manual labor is expected.

So here I am, standing before you: Numb leg, half blind, dead foot, tired as hell, head pounding and spinning, having to force thoughts to connect sometimes, and having an injection to look forward to tonight or tomorrow. What do you see?

FUCKING NONE OF IT.

Don't tell me I'm not handicapped. I don't "look sick" or "act disabled" because I'm stronger than you have the respect in you to give me credit for.

Multiple Sclerosis is different for every person. I am no better nor worse than my brothers and sisters who have it. I am different and I'm a different person. The way everyone handles something terrible is different.

Make no mistake. I am sick and I feel like crap. ALWAYS. But you will never know...because I'll be damned if anyone is going to remember me that way.

Please be respectful.

Pearls of Wisdom

Paola: Beer for breakfast is not good..
Jimmi: Correction. Beer for breakfast is excellent.
*
Jimmi: Did you hear about Tucson? :(
Tom: Ya. I heard. :/
Jimmi: Good...we should go take our walk before you hear about Carlsbad.
*
Jimmi: I don't know what happened to all the Latin American players...maybe they're like "OYE! I'M PLAYING THE CHUPACABRA! Er...worgen.."
*
Jimmi: In the movies gangstas always pull their guns from their waistbands. YA RIGHT!
*
Michael: You win so hard
*
Jimmi: I want to be Chief Strategist, Peaceful Slumber Department
*
Michael: Sweet, the battery charger in my work area was making odd noises and smelling of burning...
Jimmi: Nice. Fried eggs?
*
Jimmi: She makes it more complicated than it really is. Nobody cares about feelings...it's all about the blowjobs.
*
Jimmi: Probably $0....so it should have gained enough interest to be up to like.......$0
Tom: Nice.
Jimmi: Hell ya! You can buy something free with that...
*
Jimmi: I love when the counselor stresses, "Jimmi is VERY SMART, but he IS STILL A CHILD." I just want to say, "OFUK, srsly?! He can't get a job? OMGNOES." Dumb bitch. You got paid to make that conclusion, ma'am?
*
*
Jimmi: Hot girl + gun range = premature ejaculation
*
Jimmi: Squiggly red lines can suck my balls. Used golf balls..that I hit in septic water.
*
Jimmi: How're ya?
Steve: If I was any better, I'd be you!
Jimmi: Christ, I'm sorry to hear that bro...
*
David: She's like the Jewish mother I never had.
*
Jimmi: If I was a hot chick...I'd totally be attracted to us because we're so awesome.
*
Jimmi: I wish I'd paid attention in spanish class. I never thought I'd really use it!
*
David: That fast? What kind of demonry powers this satan's box?
*
Paola: Should I put brown?
Jimmi: Yes.
Paola: Or dark brown?
Jimmi: Brown.
Paola: Not dark brown?
Jimmi: Are you going to keep asking?
Paola: You already know the answer to that.
*
Jimmi: I like win in all colors.
*
David: Yeah. Vanillia flavored ass juice is not something a lot of people would buy.