Pearls of Wisdom

Paola: Beer for breakfast is not good..
Jimmi: Correction. Beer for breakfast is excellent.
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Jimmi: Did you hear about Tucson? :(
Tom: Ya. I heard. :/
Jimmi: Good...we should go take our walk before you hear about Carlsbad.
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Jimmi: I don't know what happened to all the Latin American players...maybe they're like "OYE! I'M PLAYING THE CHUPACABRA! Er...worgen.."
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Jimmi: In the movies gangstas always pull their guns from their waistbands. YA RIGHT!
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Michael: You win so hard
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Jimmi: I want to be Chief Strategist, Peaceful Slumber Department
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Michael: Sweet, the battery charger in my work area was making odd noises and smelling of burning...
Jimmi: Nice. Fried eggs?
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Jimmi: She makes it more complicated than it really is. Nobody cares about feelings...it's all about the blowjobs.
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Jimmi: Probably $0....so it should have gained enough interest to be up to like.......$0
Tom: Nice.
Jimmi: Hell ya! You can buy something free with that...
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Jimmi: I love when the counselor stresses, "Jimmi is VERY SMART, but he IS STILL A CHILD." I just want to say, "OFUK, srsly?! He can't get a job? OMGNOES." Dumb bitch. You got paid to make that conclusion, ma'am?
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Jimmi: Hot girl + gun range = premature ejaculation
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Jimmi: Squiggly red lines can suck my balls. Used golf balls..that I hit in septic water.
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Jimmi: How're ya?
Steve: If I was any better, I'd be you!
Jimmi: Christ, I'm sorry to hear that bro...
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David: She's like the Jewish mother I never had.
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Jimmi: If I was a hot chick...I'd totally be attracted to us because we're so awesome.
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Jimmi: I wish I'd paid attention in spanish class. I never thought I'd really use it!
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David: That fast? What kind of demonry powers this satan's box?
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Paola: Should I put brown?
Jimmi: Yes.
Paola: Or dark brown?
Jimmi: Brown.
Paola: Not dark brown?
Jimmi: Are you going to keep asking?
Paola: You already know the answer to that.
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Jimmi: I like win in all colors.
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David: Yeah. Vanillia flavored ass juice is not something a lot of people would buy.